Lyrics

WYNGARDE: Have you seen the latest box office numbers? ALL: (grumbling) LUKE SKI: Our revenue has been trending down for years now BUD: It certainly isn't the quality of our product DEVO SPICE: Piracy is killing us LUKE SKI: So how do we reverse the trend? DEVO SPICE: We could try telling good stories again ALL: (laughing) WYNGARDE: Seriously though, We should continue to make movies that feel familiar and appeal to the broadest possible audience. Any suggestions? Earn Hollywood earn our revenue is going down Need a hit that will not bomb So let's remake a movie Update a classic film just to prove we Can take an old idea and just revise The plot and characters how we like Cause all we care about is not selling out And front-loading the box office roll out So we'd never stick our necks out On films no test audience checked out Hollywood or wood chuck wood How much would you chuck just to make a buck But some films we'll never remake (haha) There's no limit to what we'll take For all the years we worked so hard The work is over, time to steal with no regard Earn Hollywood earn (repeated) That film is due for a sequel Just flip the script a bit and it'll do well A fresh idea would be unwise We'll make two or three and create a franchise Similar plot and cast would be safe Tell the same story in a different place Blockbuster box office just like the other Don't mind the critics (*cha-ching*) another buck, er… As I channel surf from Nick at Nite to TV Land Thinkin' how hard can it be to adapt One of these classic TV shows Of Darrens or Ralphs, Lukes and Bos Many would pay and cheer with glee To see their favorite show up on the screen All you really need to do is change thing or two Shoot the whole thing like a damn music video And old actors of shows adapted As for playin' the lead part, not gonna happen For what they play cameo is the perfect role Even if since they've gotten old So let's steal some ideas from old works Seems the best way to keep jobs and perks There's nothing that we can't regurgitate to earn Earn Hollywood earn Earn Hollywood earn (repeated) WYNGARDE: Now we're considering you to take part in the writing of our next film. How do feel about writing situational comedy? MARSHALL: Yeah, I'm interested. You mean something like Harold Ramis or Woody Allen, right? WYNGARDE: Well, it's a feature adaptation of Perfect Strangers starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson MARSHALL: Uh… Say what? BUD: Hey, hey, hey, We need to brainstorm ideas for our next feature. What do you got? LUKE SKI: I think we should return Blue Thunder to the big screen DEVO SPICE: What about Apocalypse Later? LUKE SKI: I know, we can update Dr. Strangelove and cast Steve Martin! BUD: Knot's Landing could be a feature. Keep the 80s style and sensibilities and juxtapose them with the modern world! DEVO SPICE: Hold on, I've got it! ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight's feature presentation, Welcome Back Kotter EVERYONE: (clapping, ad libbed self-congratulatory remarks) LUKE SKI: I love Hollywood, man