Good Ship Venus

Lyrics

[Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 1] The captain of the lugger Was known as a filthy bugger Declared unfit to shovel grit From one ship to another [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 2] The cabin boys name was Chipper A randy little nipper He made a pass with a broken glass And circumcised the skipper [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 3] The first mate's name was Morgan By gosh, he was a gorgon From half past eight he played 'til late Upon the captain's organ [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 4] The captain's wife was Charlotte Born and bred a harlot Her thighs at night were lily white By morning they were scarlet [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 5] The captain's daughter, Mabel Though young, was fresh and able To fornicate with the second mate Upon the chartroom table [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 6] The captain's youngest daughter Was washed into the water Her plaintive squeals announced that eels Had found her sexual quarter [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 7] The ship's dog's name was Rover We turned that poor thing over And ground and ground that faithful hound From Teneriff to Dover [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus [Verse 8] And when we reached our station Through skilful navigation The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk From too much fornication [Chorus] Aboard the good ship Venus You really should have seen us With a figurehead of a whore in bed And a mast of a phallic genus