Das Uber Tuber, Or. The Mystery Of Mr. P.

Lyrics

(intro) Mr potato head, master of disguise He can turn into over 50 completely different guys! Is he a blonde or is his hair red You'll never know with mr potato head He's hot! he's out of control Who's that rappeling down the side of the villain's secret lair Who's that over there with the countess, sipping sherry with such understated flair He's cooking when he's when he's behind the wheel Of the mr. potato head mobile He goes out for a ride Changes into some other guy Probably takes the heat in the ride We're all waiting He's going straight ahead Then suddenly, he turns into a drive Mr. potato head, super secret spy Cowboy secret space detective, super private eye He puts on a disguise He could be anyone of a dozen other potato-headed men He's not really out of control He's not even really a man He came through He's doing the best that he can All he wants is what anybody wants, just a simple life With his loving wife But it's hard to get his family a home when he's always battling Hugo Who's that hiding in enormous faces Who's that kid with corn stuck in his braces Who's all genders creeds, and races Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces! Who's been schooled in all the social graces Who's that parked in all the handicap spaces Who can draw anything as long as he traces Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces! It had to happen one day They both knew this was the way They'd trained for this their whole lives; They hugged their kids and kissed their wives Hugo pulls out a knife Potato head narrows his eyes He says, "I'm gonna cut you down to size--into french fries." Mr. potato head just grins and says well go ahead and try Hugo pulls out his tater-grater and says Prepare to meet your creator-tater Tato head pulls out his detonator and says This is the last time you will try to rule the world you evil guy You know i'm not afraid to die And then lets a spud missile fly There's silence As the smoke clears A pile of noses and ears In a gigantic crater Lies our beloved tater Mr. potato head Opens up his eyes Now he's the undisputed Master of disguise Is he alive, or is he dead It's hard to tell with mr. potato head All hail Mr. Potato Head Mr. Potato Head Eyes are everywhere