Lyrics

I don't let my band members sing I don't let my band members write I don't let my band members take any credit Because I'm so greedy and uptight I don't give them the share of the profits I don't let them have any say I just hog away all the credit And I don't give them their share of the pay Because I'm cheap And I'm selfish And I do all the vocals by myself All they do is stand back and make my music for me While my album's making money on the shelf I don't give the band any credit But I make them do all the work All I have to do is write this stuff on paper I don't give them credit, 'cause I'm a jerk Whenever we are live and we're on stage My band's in the back against a wall Aside from that, they're hidden by a curtain So they can only be seen if the curtain falls And if by any chance this album sells well I'll just take all the money for my own And since I have them doing this at gunpoint They can't just take off and go home They can't quit And they can't leave here And if they do, they can't run very far Because there is obstacle waiting out there for them They won't get past the minefield in the yard I even sing over the solo 'Cause I like the sound of my voice Too bad, 'cause it's a pretty decent solo But it's not like the band had a choice Being the band leader is a great thing I don't have to play an instrument I'll just stand on stage and look all pretty Kyle: Maybe we should— SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE GUITARIST, YOU DON'T GET TO TALK!!! Kyle, you will listen to what I tell you All your talents mean nothing to me I am the deserver of the glory I make the decisions, you see Uh, what are you doing? Stop it, stop it, STOP IT! That was... HORRIBLE! THAT'S IT! (Extended sounds of brutal guitar murder) I quit!