Draining the Lizard on a Dead Gay Wizard

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Jace McLain] Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago But his followers mourn to this day A tragic event, we wish that he didn't go Then we later found out that he was gay Well I was dicking around outside the castle grounds Then I found the beloved man's grave So to pay my respects I set some flowers out And I watered them in my own special way [Chorus: Jace McLain & Timothy Crist] I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard There's a slight chance of rain for our headmaster today I'm leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave [Verse 2: Jace McLain] Dumbledore's memory will be in our dreams Well, we always knew that he was Number One And though I'm washing those memories away in a stream There are many good things that he's done If your day was a drought he'd always help you out With a golden shine from within He would come to your side at each catastro-pee So you're safe from the danger urine [Chorus: Jace McLain & Timothy Crist] I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard The chamber of secrets sprung a small leak today I'm making an ocean with a magical potion And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave [Bridge: Jace McLain] This act I'm committing seems so perfect and fitting And it feels so good to pour these feelings out As he sits and decays I'm feeling pretty okay Besides a shower's one thing he's gone too long without From the land of the free to France where they say "oui, oui" They say I'm doing something awful and wrong But though a great flood of pee-ple might be pissed off at me At least they're not getting pissed on [Chorus: Jace McLain & Timothy Crist] I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard I'm speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake I'm whizzing the wand to make a magical pond And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard I can hear Rowling bawling but I still won't behave I'm baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave [Refrain: Jace McLain] Everybody! [Chorus: All, Jace McLain] I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard It's the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day Though I'm merely a Muggle, I can summon a puddle And in case you were pee-occupied and didn't hear me I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave