I Don’t Need to Have a Better Day, I Need to Feel Better About This One

Album cover art for "I Don’t Need to Have a Better Day, I Need to Feel Better About This One" by Neil Hilborn

Neil Hilborn - Non-Music, Spoken Word

I Don’t Need to Have a Better Day, I Need to Feel Better About This One

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Lyrics

There's some truth to what Hugh once said About how a lot of the time I don't wanna die, I'm just embarrassed and that makes me long for death Not death, but just not being here I would rather die than confront my mistakes And I spent long enough fixing nothing so I could feel nothing That now, it's just mistakes all the way down So yes, when tasked with admitting something is wrong, I do genuinely consider how much it's going to disrupt The already precarious life I built for myself Just a slight push from embarrassment might be enough To tip over this weaving - this wheezing, expensive machine If my things are going to be scattered all over the street, Why not leave before I see them thrown? I know, I do, that I feel this way now and I will not feel this way soon I know that the aphorisms, even if I hate them, are right This, too, shall pass - blah blah, Darkest - blah blah - dawn, And I know, it's rude to leave your messes for someone else But consider also that I'm a mess, and I make people deal with me pretty constantly Consider that most of every day is me crying alone in a car or bedroom Over nothing Goddamn nothing, and Consider this is supposed to get better as I get older And it's getting worse No one warned me that I would just get more anxious Consider the future, and how I've seen it And maybe it's not worth seeing again

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Credits

Writers
  • Neil Hilborn