Tribute to Pants

Album cover art for "Tribute to Pants" by Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Non-Music

Tribute to Pants

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Lyrics

[Crow] Joel, I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women. [Tom Servo] Boy, don't you know it? I can just imagine a common scene from the days of Ancient Greece: "Oh, hi, Hercules, have a seat! No!" [Joel] You are so right my little itty buddies. Hey Cambot, cue up the music. That's why we've put together a little musical presentation honoring one our favorite garments, it's a little thing we like to call: "Pants!" [Servo] Pants! [Crow] Pants! [Bots] Sing the praises of pants! [Joel] Nothing better shows my taste, Than what I wear below my waist! [Servo] Say! Pants! Hoo-hoo! [Crow] Pants! [Bots] Sing the praises of pants! [Servo] They help me suck in my gut They always cover up my butt! Huh? Pants! [Crow] Pants! [All] Sing the praises of pants! [Crow] Wear them and you're a cool guy As long as you zip up your fly! [Servo] Zip! Pants! [Crow] Pants! [Bots] Sing the praises of pants! [Joel] That's right ladies and gentlemen! Consider the pant! You know, the Pants Association urges you to wear your pants at least three times a day! [Crow] The great men of our time have all worn pants! Roosevelt, Churchill, de Gualle, Ghandi! Well, almost all of them! [Servo] Dolphins, one of the smartest mammals on earth. Do they wear pants, no! But they wish they did! That's how smart they are! [Joel] What keeps our legs all warm and hot? [All] Pants! [Crow] What prevents a buffalo shot? [All] Pants! [Servo] What do they got that I ain't got? [All] Pants! [Servo] You can say that again, huh?

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Credits

Writers
  • Frank Conniff
  • Michael J. Nelson