I Could Drive a Person Crazy

Lyrics

[THE OBSERVER, spoken] "Why aren't you married?" [THE OBSERVER] Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo I could drive a person crazy I could drive a person mad Doo-doo-doo-doo doo First I make a person hazy So a person could be had Doo-doo-doo-doo doo Then I leave a person dangling sadly Outside my door Which it only makes a person gladly Want me even more You could understand a person If it's not a person's bag Doo-doo-doo-doo doo You could understand a person If a person was a drag Doo-doo-doo-doo doo Boo-boo-boo-boo Worse than that A person that Titillates a person and then leaves her flat Is crazy I'm a troubled person I'm a truly crazy person Myself! [THE HUSBAND, spoken] Thank you That's fine Have a seat Thanks a lot [THE OBSERVER] When a person's personality is personable He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull To try to get me off of my rump So single and attentive and attractive a man I'm everything a person could wish But turning off a person is the act of a man Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish Knock, knock, is anybody there? Knock, knock, it really isn't fair Knock, knock, I'm working all my charms Knock, knock, a zombie's in your arms All this sweet affection What is wrong? Where's my loose connection? How long, oh Lord, how long? Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy I could drive a person buggy I could blow a person's cool Doo-doo-doo-doo doo First I make a person feel all huggy Then I make her feel a fool Doo-doo-doo-doo doo When a person says that I've upset her That's when I'm good I impersonate a person better Than a zombie should You could understand a person If I wasn't good in bed Doo-doo-doo-doo doo You could understand a person If I actually was dead Doo-doo-doo-doo Exclusive me Elusive me Will any person ever get the juice of me? I'm crazy I'm a lovely person I'm a moving, deeply maladjusted Never to be trusted Crazy person Myself! [THE WIFE, spoken] Absolutely [THE YOUNGER WOMAN, spoken] I agree [THE HUSBAND, spoken] You win, we give up [THE OBSERVER] Yeah!