Redefine the Family

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a vivid picture of an official, government-sanctioned definition of family being challenged by a lived reality. An agent arrives with a "long, long form," armed with preconceived notions of what constitutes a family – "a wife and kids," "two point five" children, and a "picket fence." This rigid, almost bureaucratic approach to defining familial structure is presented as the supposed "backbone of our democracy" and the "way the Bible says it should be." The central tension arises from the narrator's honest, yet defiant, response to the official's intrusive questions. Sworn to "tell the truth," the narrator systematically dismantles the imposed definition by revealing a non-traditional household. This includes a polyamorous relationship structure ("My lover's name is Richard / His lover's name is Pat") and a blended family unit with lesbian parents raising children ("Pam and Lyn / They're lesbians and lovers / Together, we're raising three great kids"). The narrator's assertion, "We define our family / We offer no apology," directly confronts the government's prescriptive stance. The most striking craft element is the direct juxtaposition of the official's sterile, checklist approach against the narrator's vibrant, inclusive description. The repeated phrase "We define the family" is mirrored and then powerfully subverted by the narrator's "We define our family" and ultimately "Redefine the family / So it includes you and me." This linguistic mirroring highlights the shift from an imposed, singular definition to a self-determined, expansive one. The government agent's bewildered reaction, culminating in a shouted, "This is OUTRAGEOUS!" underscores the radical nature of the narrator's truth within the context of the official's narrow worldview. These lyrics resonate because they champion authenticity and self-determination over conformity. The narrator's courage in presenting their "diverse" and " family, and their insistence on its validity, offers a powerful counter-narrative to societal pressures. The final lines, "We'll design our own family / Our family / We are family!" serve as an anthem for anyone whose life doesn't fit the mold, celebrating the strength and love found in chosen, unconventional bonds.