I Wanna Be a Producer

Lyrics

[ACCOUNTANTS] Unhappy, unhappy, very unhappy Unhappy, unhappy Very very very very very Very very unhappy [BLACK ACCOUNTANT] Oh, I debits all duh mornin' An' I credits all duh eb'nin Until dem ledgers be right [LEO, ACCOUNTANTS] Until them ledgers be right [LEO] I spend my life accounting With figures and such [ACCOUNTANTS] Unhappy [LEO] To what is my life amounting It figures, not much [ACCOUNTANTS] Unhappy [LEO] I have a secret desire Hiding deep in my soul It sets my heart afire To see me in this role: I wanna be a producer With a hit show on Broadway I wanna be a producer Lunch at Sardi's every day I wanna be a producer Sport a top hat and a cane I wanna be a producer And drive those chorus girls insane! [Chorus girls emerge from the filing cabinets.] I wanna be a producer And sleep until half-past two I wanna be a producer And see you, you, you.....not you I wanna be a producer Wear a tux on op'ning nights! I wanna be a producer And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights! [The office is removed to reveal a large sign reading "LEO BLOOM PRESENTS".] [Chorus GIRLS] He wants to be a producer [LEO, spoken] Sell it, girls! [GIRLS] Of a great big Broadway smash [LEO, spoken] Don't forget the balcony! [GIRLS] He wants to be a producer Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash He wants to be a producer Pinch our cheeks 'til we cry [GIRL #1] Ouch! [GIRL #2] Eek! [GIRL #3] Ooh! [GIRL #4] Oh! [GIRL #5] Ahh! [GIRL #6] Yes! [GIRLS] *whistling* He wants to be a producer With a great big casting couch! [Tap-break] [LEO] I wanna be... [GIRLS] He wants to be... [LEO] I wanna be... [GIRLS] He wants to be... [LEO] I wanna be the greatest, grandest And most fabulous producer in the world [GIRLS] He wants to be a producer He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke [LEO] I just gotta be a producer Drink champagne until I puke [GIRLS] Drink champagne 'til he pukes! [LEO] I wanna be a producer Show the world just what I've got I'm gonna put on shows That will enthrall 'em [GIRLS, LEO] Read my name in Winchell's column! [LEO] I wanna be a producer 'Cause it's everything I'm not [ACCOUNTANTS] Unhappy... unhappy... So unhappy [LEO, ACCOUNTANTS] Very very very very Very very very very... [ACCOUNTANTS] Sad [LEO] I wanna be a producer (spoken) Hold everything! What am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on! [There is a commotion amongst the accountants as Marks enters.] [MARKS, spoken] Bloom, where do you think you're going? [LEO, spoken] Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor My Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil And my big finish! (sung) I'm gonna be a producer Sound the horn and beat the drum I'm gonna be a producer Look out Broadway, here I come! [GIRLS, ACCOUNTANTS] Broadway, here he comes!