Dating Profile

Lyrics

Before you look at me like I'm a neo-Luddite All screens point at me at once in a real floodlight Ideally sunlight would bathe me more often Between now and a million internets and a coffin Can't soften up my viewpoint: Modern love is the realm and computron is the true coin And that's it for you, boy. You're forty-two and the coif fled Better find true love immediately, as you've oft said So you figure the thing out, pick out a password Look in your digital photographs folder over the last third Of your life. Is anything plausibly still hot? What kind of hope about love have you impossibly still got Lodged in your nerd mind? Don't you remember biology, all of the sad ones that the herd find Difficult to cope with Left the group and weren't eloped with Before you look at me I could tell, you could be All that I have ever wanted Can't trick you perfect. Nevertheless! Ever since Guttenberg and Rosanna Arquette's Mise-en-scène, brandishing the sheaf of dot-matrix Your belief in top basics got stasis You take ways that you might not be forgivable, reveal them List your investment in every real un- Shakable truth that you've ever pondered That profile text seems far off. You never wander You write what you've seen people write, like: You feel extreme nostalgia for Excitebike; You read this book once and you quite liked it; Screens keep you company bright nights like these There's a reply! This thing is pinging at you Look at his eyes: both of them singing at you He's in disguise as you, except beautiful Offers his services. Whispers he's dutiful Wait, it's the dating app. It made a map of your whole identity But with all of the things that your soul intends to be Punched up and expressed now unequivocally Plus, it fixed your chin, and the whole thing's riveting It's leveraging a neural network on your behalf Check the projected effectiveness there on the graph If you let go, it'll send notes to other romance-seeking persons Or rather to the prettier, funnier, geekier versions Of those humans that the system surely improved Your algorithm is better at flirting than you Their algorithms are better at flirting back Your virtual face, already out on a date with your top match Each of your virtual fleshes intertwine And even though you're not participating, this is fine It's kind of ideal as your dating endgame: Bot's got your heart simulating on the mainframe Keeps it beating in your name