What Do We Do? We Fly!

Lyrics

[Chorus] Friends tells me "Never go by plane" I tell friends "Flying is insane" We agree We would rather die We see a brochure And sign for a tour And what do we do? We fly! [Bridge] You have to go to the airport so early these days I think it takes longer to get through security than it does to fly to Tahiti [Verse 1] It starts the minute you check in Departure time is at noon A cup of tea and a schneken And "Quick, it's leaving soon!" One o'clock and you're at the gate Two o'clock and your flight's still late Whеn you finally leave, it's eight And what do wе do? We fly, we fly! What do we do? We fly! [Chorus] I hate planes Sitting three abreast I hate planes Never get a rest I hate planes I hate every single one The crossing was rough Which wasn't enough The fun hadn't yet begun [Bridge] Don't you just love it when you're in your cramped little seat And the person in front of you suddenly decides to take a nap? Don't get me wrong, usually I like someone's head in my lap [Verse 2] The seat was throwing my back out But there I was with a book When suddenly there's a blackout And everywhere I look Is a close-up of Doris Day Ninety minutes of Doris Day There was nothing to do but pray And how do we go? We fly! Why? How do we go? We fly! [Bridge] Actually, I would welcome a Doris Day movie on a flight. Wouldn't you? On one of my trips I got to watch The Last Temptation of Christ In Korean [Chorus] I hate planes (I agree) Most of all the sound I hate planes (You're like me) Even on the ground Can't stand planes I hate even more than those The kids in the aisle Surrounding you while Their parents pretend to doze [Bridge] I don't think airlines allow babies on board unless they promise to cry [Verse 3] The kid I noticed the first was The one who stood on my feet The kid I hated the worst was The one who kicked my seat There was one on the left who bit There was one on the right who spit There was one in the back I hit And what did we do? We flew! Ooh! What did we do? We flew! [Bridge] Okay, I have a confession to make Once on a flight to London My own child projectile-vomited onto the man sitting in front of us Three times! [Chorus] I hate planes (I agree) Never can adapt I hate planes (You're like me) Always feel a draft Can't stand planes I hate most of all the chow To know what is what Is difficult but I think I've discovered how [Bridge] Of course, good luck getting a meal on any flight these days But if you do, I suggest you remember the following [Verse 4] The shiny stuff is tomatoes The salad lies in a group The curly stuff is potatoes The stuff that moves is soup Anything that is white is sweet Anything that is brown is meat Anything that is gray—don't eat And what do we do? We fly! Why? What do we do? We fly! [Bridge] And can we talk about fees? You have to pay to check your bag You have to pay to get a seat Pretty soon you're gonna have to pay to pee! [Verse 5] You're zooming up like a comet Your ears are starting to ring Your neighbor's starting to vomit There's ice along the wing As you wait for your palms to dry You can see your whole life flash by And they tell you it's fun to fly Your chance of survival's so remote You're far better off to cut your throat But who has the time to take a boat? What do we do? (What do we do, what do we do?) We fly!