28 Butts

Lyrics

[Verse 1] It's a typical day in the universe Another MC spits a puny verse I try to get through my day without sayin' a curse Because I curse too much and such and such I try to improve my vocabulary I try to cut out eatin' meat and dairy I wanna bring back the days of the tooth fairy 'Cause I lost my innocence I'm young and dumb and old and wise at the same time 'Cause I know Jesus was a rock star And it was Elvis who turned water into wine (water into wine) I wanna save a kangaroo from a life in a zoo, I wanna own a llama I want less drama in my life I think I really wanna be a happy housewife [Chorus] I got 28 butts in the ashtray I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied I know you wouldn't put it past me I really know how to party, reminisce about the day When I was swiggin' my Bacardi 28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me Keepin' myself company [Verse 2] I think back all the days I was smokin Kerouac It was really kinda like an addiction, non fiction Just readin my days and nights away I used to pray to a funny little fat man Til I found out he was Santa Claus 'Cause Saint Nick never brought shit And there I go cursin' again I'm my only friend and I'm definitely My very worst enemy It kinda triggers a memory Let's bring it back to '83 When I ate a watermelon, swallowed the seeds Suddenly there was a watermelon growin' in my tummy I skipped a jump rope, every time I jumped up I heard a rattle that sounded like a tambourine [Chorus] I got 28 butts in the ashtray I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied I know you wouldn't put it past me I really know how to party, reminisce about the day When I was swiggin' my Bacardi 28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me Keepin' myself company [Verse 3] Hey mama, are you proud of me? I applied for a job at MickeyD's I gotta do somethin with my life Because my idle time is eatin' me like I'm a super sized french fry Drenched in ketchup, fry another batch up But I know I taste better than that Like they used to taste before they outlawed trans fat [Chorus] I got 28 butts in the ashtray I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied I know you wouldn't put it past me I really know how to party, reminisce about the day When I was swiggin' my Bacardi 28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me Keepin' myself company