The Gnu Song

Lyrics

A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo when I met a man who thought he knew the lot He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons And the number of quills a porcupine has got So I asked him, "What's that creature there?" He answered, "It's a h-elk." I might have gone on thinking that was true If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame And remarked: "I hain't a h-elk! I'm a g-nu! I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo I'm a g-nu, how d'you do? You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho! I'm a g-nu, spelled G-N-U I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo So let me introduce I'm g-neither man or moose Oh g-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!" I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne And the second night I stayed there, I was wakened from a dream Which I'll tell you all about... some other time Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my head Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew [Spoken] A bison? No, it's not a bison An okapi? I don't think it's an okapi Could it be, uh, a hartebeest? [Singing] When I seemed to hear a voice "I'm a g-nu I'm a g-nu! a g-nother g-nu I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you I'm a g-nu, how d'you do? You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho! I'm a g-nu, spelled G-N-U Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a g-nu! G-no, g-no, g-no I'm a g-nu!"