Self-Love

Song Meaning

The narrator lays out a series of criteria for a potential lover, systematically rejecting each type. It begins with the man who loves unwillingly, then the one who is too independent and can easily leave. The narrator dismisses those who only pursue beauty, and equally those who show affection for the conventionally unattractive, seeing both as flawed judgment. Even intelligence is a disqualifier, as it might lead to mockery or control. The lyrics also reject the man who is overly attentive, suggesting he becomes a slave, and the one who is stingy, implying he devalues the object of his affection. Each rejection builds a picture of what the narrator *doesn't* want. The central tension arises from this exhaustive list of exclusions. The narrator seems to be searching for an ideal partner, but every option presented is found wanting. This creates a sense of frustration and perhaps a touch of cynicism about romantic possibilities. The repeated structure of "Nor he that..." emphasizes the systematic nature of this rejection, highlighting the narrator's critical and perhaps disillusioned perspective on potential suitors. The most striking element is the concluding turn towards self-love. After meticulously detailing all the ways men fail to meet her standards, the narrator resolves to "vent that humour then / In mine own self-love." This isn't presented as a consolation prize, but rather a deliberate choice born from the perceived impossibility of finding a suitable partner. It’s a powerful assertion of independence, a declaration that her own affection is sufficient when external options prove inadequate. This lyrical strategy is effective because it grounds an abstract concept like self-love in a very concrete, almost transactional, process of elimination. The detailed critiques of potential lovers make the final embrace of self-love feel earned and decisive. It’s a clever way to frame self-sufficiency not as a fallback, but as the ultimate, most discerning choice.