Your Mother is a Basketball

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Joe Hawley] Your mother's so fat they didn't call Ghostbusters Stay Puft Man was all, "I don't trust her" In other words, she ate him Stay Puft Man's big, so that's how we know she's fat -- just to clarify [Chorus: Michael Gregory] Basketball A basketball Yeah? Well, your mother is a basketball I went there Your mother is a basketball A basketball She's a basketball [Bridge 1: Allegra Rosenberg] Stop Everybody take five Good show guys, but I don't feel a vibe Let it all out; don't hold back, incriminate Here on this court you've gotta push it to the limit, mate Reach deep inside Throw the shots Come alive I'll be here tweeting the whole thing live ​so guys, be loquacious Show off your gall What did you say his mother was again? [Verse 2: Michael Gregory] A basketball A basketball! After all She's bouncing like she had a bottle of Adderall She's also fat Not sure if I mentioned that Twenty-nine inches wide from all sides, to be exact [Verse 3: Joe Hawley] Man, that's whack. I object! but to change the subject I double dribbl'd your mom's bombs and she liked it Now I'm flying higher than a window wiper While you're airing free throws like a drunken sniper [Verse 4: Michael Gregory] I'm'a lead you to reason like the Zeppelin Piper If your mom were on Tinder I'd swipe her right 'cause I like her She's spherical, meaningful, queer, and clerical A leather planet with a gravity that makes you feel the pull [Bridge 2: Allegra Rosenberg, Stephanie Koenig] Ooh! Feeling it now; moves smoove, so adroit (In empty stadiums we hide) World's hearing it now, Down Under to Detroit Pity the pal who fails to score a swish Never gonna hit the buzzer 'cause she just won't fit Not that curvy's bad, boys (En masse amassing eyes shut wide) In fact, it's sad that the Women's NBA's isn't more round and rad Don't lose ground Be a man Do they fit basketballs with gastric bands? [Verse 5: Joe Hawley, Michael Gregory] Oedipus Rex, Electra complex Pegasus wings on these foot springs, but I digress Surf's up aboard a tidal wave of jump Yo' 'boks probably don't even pump, chump! Sup?! I got pump up 'boks, I'll palm my ball in my hand ​and shoot infinity points from up across this land ​so you can't press the man if you know what's best, son ​lest you wanna become a tripping guessing lesson [Bridge: Allegra Rosenberg, Stephanie Koenig, Joe Hawley, Michael & Joe] Slam dunk! Foul? Ref, make the call! Oh gee, oh gosh, this is all too much Guys, I gotta confide I'm just an actress, y'all, picked last at the dang-blasted casting call [Verse 7: Michael Gregory] Some games don't have winners Some chickens don't end up on plates for dinners They contain the innards But we know the sun will always rise and always fall And that your mother will always be a basketball [Chorus: Michael Gregory] Basketball A basketball If you're listening, your mother is a basketball That's right, YOU Your mother is a basketball She's a basketball Bouncy basketball [Outro: Stephanie Koenig] Over a rainbow in despair Somehow Somewhen Someway Somewhere​