Lyrics

Ladies and gentleman, this is The Mothers of Invention I'm Frank and here's Jim, say hello, Jim Hello, people And this is Howard Hi Say hello again, Jim, that wasn't very— Hello, everybody out there (Hot beats) This is Howard Hi there This is Mark Hello Okay, here's the deal We have this movie that we just finished called "200 Motels" Right, mmm Boy, is it neat, too Uh, listen, this movie is, uh Well, it was a little bit weird for the peoplе at United Artists when they first saw it I mеan, it was a little hard to, uh, explain exactly what was going on when they went in and, uh, saw it for the first time What I'm trying to say is they ran out of the screening room Just before we got our budget to prepare the, uh, advertising campaign for this film They left us a little short, folks, and with red cheeks Ahaha, listen, it's really not that bad, we have a lavish advertising budget to spend on this film And we're spending it wisely We know that you out there in radio land also watch television And you wanna get a little glimpse of what this film is all about So we have spared no expense in preparing for you the most fantastic television commercial In the best possible primetime slot And we want you all to watch it because we only get a chance to show it once this week And if you'll all pay close attention, the disk jockey on this station will tell you what time it's going to be on What channel it's going to be on And I want you all to watch this 200 Motels television commercial Yay Yay Now do it again, now you say the same thing Huh? Or a variation thereof Now you give the message Oh, me? Yeah Hi, hi there, hi We're The Mothers of Invention I'm Howard I'm Jim, hi everyone I'm Mark, hi Jim I'm Ian and Aynsley and Don Preston and also Frank Yeah, and we just, and we just filmed this incredible motion picture And I, I personally Now honestly, and not being involved at all, have to recommend it I mean, not just to you, but all the members of your family and your close friends Not only that, all of the people who are on the Medicine Ball Caravan, they should watch it Everybody should watch it because its social impor— It's of social important, the film just hits home, what can I say? The thing is that we really went over-budget I mean, the film was so lavish You can't believe the star-studded cast, the incredible costumes Who's in the movie? Oh, The Mothers of Invention for a starter Theodore Bikel (Yeah, rockstar) Keith Moon (Hot beats) Yeah, history Ah-oohs, all that stuff, the movie's great But we ran over-budget and United Artists gave us only a mere penance So we said well, we can either schlep and have a rancid commercial on nine times a week Or just go all out and open our wads to the world And say this is what we can do And only have enough money to air it once But sparing no expense, we've gone ahead and done just that And your local announcer, right here on your very own teenage station Will now tell you all the rancid details Hi, we're The Mothers of Invention We just did this movie, now you can't believe it This is a cool movie, it's called "200 Motels" That's right, and it's a United Artists release starring The Mothers of Invention Theodore Bikel And Ringo Starr Frank Zappa did the whole thing and really cool It's far out and funny Lavish costumes, you can't even believe it A lot of dancers, there's even some naked things, you know? But it's nothing you couldn't take your classmates to see Or your mom and dad, they'd really get off beyond your wildest dreams Listen, a funny thing happened We spent so much money schlepping our hearts out Trying to make this movie a sincere and valuable audience-entertainer relationship kind of an experience Like Esalen Institute, you know? That we just didn't have any bread left for a big television campaign So I wanna tell ya We have booked one commercial this week on your local television station It's primetime, folks This is when all of you are gathered around the tube, watching We know you'll be there But just to remind ya, The Mother's snappy, lavish 200 Motels commercial Will be on the station at the time that your local DJ guy will tell ya right now Take it away, local DJ guy Hi, I'm Eddie Sincere for The Mothers of Invention Now these hardworking lads have just come back from London Yes, well, they have spared no expense to film a movie for you and your whole family called "200 Motels" That's right, Frank Zappa's 200 Motels with The Mothers of Invention Theodore Bikel And Ringo Starr Mystery, hot beats, romance, ah-ooh You're gonna love it to death Now ladies and gentlemen, The Mothers came back to town And they said, "Are you kidding? We spent over budget We can't even afford a television commercial now" But the brilliant people at United Artists have said "Listen, you guys, here's a budget, run with it" So we've got one lavish commercial that we're gonna sock to ya And here's your local DJ guy to tell you just when and where it'll be socked to ya Hi, we're The Mothers of Invention We just made this movie, you know? It's called "200 Motels" It's pretty far out Frank Zappa, you know? The guy's a little weird But it's got The Mothers of Invention in it And Theodore Bikel And Ringo Starr Lot of groupies Oh, yeah, Keith Moon The Royal Philharmonic Singers and dancers Lavish costume I mean, we went out on a limb for you folks 'Cause we really believe the artist and the entertainer Share something so valuable with each other That it's a— it's almost a religious, what can I say? Siddhartha, you know? So we came back to town and we said "Let's blow the rest of the budget and really make a snazzy commercial for these people That they can watch on the television The first Mothers of Invention television commercial" And it's coming to your neighborhood, boys and girls It's gonna be socked in your very eyes and ears, on your own color tube You can get out of it You can have a beer in your hand and your undershirt on Have a little lady fix ya up a can of beans, you know what I mean? Put your feet up and pet the dog and Get out your straights and sit there and wait for it, ladies and gentlemen Because here it comes, here it comes See it coming, see it coming Your local DJ guy is gonna tell ya right now Where and when to glue your eyes to the boob tube For the mystery Mothers commercial Take it away