The Joker’s Wild

Lyrics

[Intro: Shaggy 2 Dope] "Welcome to another exciting episode of Delray's number one game show, The Joker's Wild! Shaggy, tell us something about tonight's contestants." "Hey, mother fuckers! Get ready for the killer show up in this bitch! We got a cop, we got a judge, and we got a redneck, so step the fuck up and play The Joker's Wild!" [Verse 1: Violent J] Woohoo! Everybody smile Guess who's back on your underground dial (Who?) It's the game show host with the most (Violent J) And tonight we finna have a little pig roast Cop copper, it's been a long while Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle Mr. Pig-Man packing that steel But tonight, you ain't shit, now spin the fuckin' wheel (Ooh) Looks good, nice try Now let's see just how ya gonna die Lucky, lucky, he landed on Carpenter Jed He just pounds nails in your forehead The pig got lucky that time But let's take a look who's next down the line Oh, the 43rd District judge, hey pal Remember me? You threw me in jail Take a spin or I'll snap your neck The clicker's landed, let me check The Jukey, hey it ain't bad at all We just cut your face off and slap your skull Who's next for the games and fun? Hillbilly Earl, come on down, run The redneck that sicked his dog on me Now that's gonna cost you a spin, buddy Spin around and around it goes Staple your lips shut, cut off your toes Then I throw your corpse on top of the pile Anything goes on the Joker's Wild [Skit: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J] "Tell me who killed 17 people and later ate their dead bodies?" "Jeffrey Dahmer?" "No, the correct answer would be your mother." *slice* "Aah!" "Shaggs?" "Aww, shit, motherfuckers! Get ready for round two in this bitch, so if you want your fuckin' neck bone chopped, step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!" [Verse 2: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope] You like big money and prizes, don't ya? You'd probably kill for a big prize, won't ya? You little bitch, it's your turn to spin Free money, now spin again Oh goody, now unzip your drawers I'm finna clip this chain on your balls Raise ya upside down for the bang bada Now we bust your head like a pinata (Hey!) The audience loves that shit Listen to 'em cheer when your forehead splits Wait! Cut to a break, oh shit, d-damn, uh We got guts on the camera [Skit: Legz Diamond & Shaggy 2 Dope] "The Joker's Wild is brought to you by Faygo!" "Everybody sing!" Send your momma straight up to the sto' Tell that bitch to bring home a Faygo [Verse 3: Violent J] Welcome back to the Carnival Show Here's your chance for the big money cash flow Hit your buzzer, pull your lever Joker, joker, lemon, (Aww) we sever your head Pick a door, one, two, or three It's the same behind every door, me There's no escape, now gimme that bald head The crowd can't help, look, they're all dead At home they just watching your doom We broadcast from Hell to your living room I ripped off his nug bone, wicked clown style Anything goes on the Joker's Wild [Skit: Shaggy 2 Dope] "It's time to play hit or miss. Contestant number one, open your mouth. Contestant number two, get ready. Will he hit or miss? HE HIT! What's next?" "We got money! We got cash! We got prizes! We got blood! We got guts! We got naked dead bitches on the Joker's Wild" [Verse 4: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope & Legz Diamond] I got my yellow suit and my purple tie Somebody's gonna die, oh my It's Mr. Thompson, my next door neighbor Always bitchin, yellin' from the kitchen Window, see he died and he went to Hell though We meet again, I got my own game show Spin the wheel, 'cause I just can't fuck around Bonus round! Oh shit, the end of the game Bonus round, we goin' out with a bang You gotta chance for money and prizes You gotta chance at death, too, hahah (Argh!) So get ready, I'm coming at ya fast Your chance for freedom at last Four questions, so are you ready, Jack? "Uh, uh, I think so", load the gat [Skit: Shaggy 2 Dope & Legz Diamond] "The governor?" "Eats butt?" "Yes! The square root of two?" "Um" "Correct! Nut sacks don't belong in?" "Butt cracks?" "Right! Rich boys eat?" "Caviar?" "No! The correct answer is bullets." *gunshots and laughter* "Oh geez, ah, well, this is Bink Chipperwink saying so long 'til next week, folks. See ya later, goodbye" [Outro: Violent J] "That's it. Go home." (Aww)