The Amazing Maze

Lyrics

[Intro] Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun But those rides just aren't for everyone Bought my ticket I'ma have a run In the maze (Woo!) If I don't come back or right away Give me time at least a half a day Don't just leave me lost and thrown away In the maze (Woo!) [Legz Diamond & Jamie Madrox] Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jeff Nipple And I'm Jimbo Jizm Welcome to the Dark Carnival's amazing maze Over 5000 ways to get in, and no way out Let's meet today's volunteer This is Rick We like to call him Rick the Dick Dickface here is a wealthy entrepreneur Who smacks his wife around And buys his way in and out of everything Let's see how Mr. Toughguy fares up in the amazing maze [Verse 1: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope] What up bitch? I'm Violent J I'll be your guide for today, kay? Good, got mad doors and mad floors Hallways, crawlways, walls for days Make a left, just before you make a right And your left should be to your right if your left's right Right? Good, begin the show Go on ahead, boy, and open up the first door Welcome to a theatrical thriller Meet Jack Doobie, a serial killer With a chainsaw, he takes your arm at the elbow You get it back if you make it out, though Fuck, ain't no use crying all day You need to take your bitch ass back down the hallway You gotta be a man, at least you learned Everything you get in the maze you've earned Keep runnin', time's a tickin' on the clock You might wanna tie that stump up with a sock Turn right it might look the same But you makin tracks through the room of thumbtacks This really ain't shit About a million tacks and the room spins a bit If you stay on your feet you'll be okay Ha ha ha- oh let me get out of your way [Legz Diamond & Jamie Madrox] Oh boy Rick the Dick is in a bit of a jam there, Jeff That's right, Jimbo He looks like a ragdoll flippin and spinnin like that You can always witness spectacles truly amazing Within the amazing maze Let's see where else Rick's adventures Will lead the little dickwipe [Verse 2: Violent J, female voice, Jamie Madrox] Hahaha, so you got a few tacks in your balls Pick 'em all out and head right back down the halls What's this? Dead end, doors locked It's a long way back, just knock *Knock, knock, knock* *Door opens* *Gunshots* Oh should've turned around, no doubt Ain't nothin' that we got to sit and argue about Keep going, make a left, right left Now run straight ahead some more, open up the door Slide in the sheets, nice breeze Relax, ninja, take it with ease The maze is a place of magic Many surprises, your dick rises Lay down, expect the best In comes your lover with a hairy chest Hello, sexy, I'm Grim Love Let me have a look at your, uh, milk dud Aww shit you fell for that I ain't gonna tell you got your o-ring tapped All that dissin' of the opposite sex And look who just got they butthole flexed Wait! What's that? The walls are closing in, fuck that Hurry run for your life Oh, he'll be alright [Legz Diamond & Jamie Madrox] How's that sit with you, Jimbo? First he gets plugged with bullets Then he gets his butt plugged I think he's a fucking idiot, Jeff I mean what kind of asshole Can't find his way out of this maze? You gotta be a real dickbuffer To wind up here in the first place Right you are, Jimbo Let's watch the big dick fuck up some more [Verse 3: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope] Alrighty ain't no need to fear If there's a way out, it's gotta be near Hey yo look, a phone You still got one good arm so it's on Can you hear? Ahh! tongue in your ear Drop it, the phone's got a life of it's own "Kiss me, man, hey, come on" Slip down the slide, go faster Bed of nails, disaster Quit screamin', yo Hurry the fuck up and open the door Woods, trees you outside Lots of places for creeps to hide Watch your step, aah! Beartrap! Caught your foot, and the ankle snapped Break it off at the stump Felt something in the rump Hunters? Yeah, they gonna get you How does it feel, bitch, get the picture? Back indoors hey at last Look at your family behind the glass They look weird, they're sayin something, listen up "You fucked up! you fucked up!" Ooh, they're laughin' and they're pointing at you At least you know what they're sayin's true It's one last door you made it home, or Or what? Once again it's on [Outro] Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun But those rides just aren't for everyone Bought my ticket I'ma have a run In the maze (Woo) If I don't come back or right away ("Hey!") Give me ti- "Hey man cut that shit What the fuck man, happy friendly shit man Fuck that It's supposed to be wicked in this bitch, man Turn that shit off"