Lyrics

[Intro] "Give God the first portion of your income, say that with me Give God the first portion of your income. Give it first! Not after deducts, not after the social security, and the Hospitilization, and the malnutrition. Not after all these Things on your check you say, I'm gonna give God a little what's Left. You do, and that's what you gonna get from God." [Verse 1: Violent J] Who am I? I'm not the Devil I can take you to my level Above the rocks, above the earth Tell me what your soul is worth How much money do you make? How much will you let me take? I will give you tranquilty Just send your welfare checks to me Life is going to expire And your soul will burn in fire You will perish in the thunder Unless you call my hotline number God has asked you to make me rich Me and my fat-whack gaudy bitch On your T.V.'s late at night Send those checks and I'll guide you to the light [Chorus: Legz Diamond & Violent J] "Yes my children you must give to the lord! You must give to the church! You must give to me! Brothers and Sisters" ([?] shouted, hey) "Remember as you're signing those checks you're signing your passport to the pearly gates of Heaven!" (Send your checks, don't mail without it, hey) "You have to pay admission into Heaven and I am the cashier! Come, hurry! For Heaven is almost full!" (Burn in Hell if you're without it, hey) "And only a sinner would get shut out!" (Promise God is all about it) [Verse 2: Violent J] Buddha called me and then stopped by And he told me you're gonna die Unless you buy my holy water Check, cash, or a money order This is true, don't question me I'll even send you shit for free It's only ten bucks for the call And I'll send a prayer, no charge at all Put your lips up to the screen Close your eyelids and intervene Your lips to mine, now send the cash And while you're there, you can kiss my ass Take your paycheck and send me half And I'll send you God's autograph I'll get Allah's and Buddha's too Even Zeus, I don't give a fuck who Just send me that money [Chorus: Legz Diamond & Violent J] "The more cash you give to the church now, the better seats you have in Heaven! ([?] shouted, hey) Make your reservations now! As the rest of the world is burning in Hellfire (Send your checks, don't mail without it, hey) You will be in Heaven, drivin' a Cadillac sedan, sippin' on Grandma's lemonade (Burn in Hell if you're without it, hey) Pay the money now and secure your spot!" (Promise God is all about it) [Bridge: Violent J & Legz Diamond] Pass the collection plate (Show-show me how you give) Pass the collection plate (G-give-give, how to live) Pass the collection plate (Show-show-show me how you give) Pass the collection plate (Show me how you give, I'll tell you how to live) [Verse 3: Violent J] Your total's twenty-two eleven For your set of keys to heaven Make the checks out in my name Me or God, it's all the same Bring your crippled ass to me Pay my usher the holy fee I'll bless your legs and bless your chair Then wheel your bitch-ass outta here Now a special ceremony This part don't cost any money Drip a drop of blessed water Now I fertilize your daughter Even though I fucked a hooker Took your baby girl and shook her You still buy everything I sell And I'm livin' well, see you in Hell! [Chorus: Legz Diamond & Violent J] "You've already spent your money on material things, fear not! God will forgive you ([?] shouted, hey) Just bring those evil items right to my church (Send your checks, don't mail without it, hey) Bring the jewelry, the cameras, the television sets, the VCR (Burn in Hell if you're without it, hey) Get in your cars right now, drive up and leave your keys with me (Promise God is all about it) I can assure you it will all be waiting for you in glorious Heaven. Hallelujah (Pass the collection plate) ([?] shouted, hey) If you've been tarnished by the Devil's ways cleanse your soul now (Pass the collection plate) (Send your checks, don't mail without it, hey) Bring your bottled nectar, your marijuana, your cocaine crack rocks, bring them to me! (Pass the collection plate) (Burn in Hell if you're without it, hey) For I am your savior, Hallelujah! (Pass the collection plate) (Promise God is all about it) Hallelujah! You dumb motherfuckers!"