Song Meaning
This track opens with a striking image: "挟んで透かした" (holding it up to the light) a blank notebook, not to draw, but to trace someone else's "ego." The narrator is literally copying, trying to replicate another person's essence onto their own pristine "freedom notebook." This act of tracing, of "なぞった" (traced), immediately sets up a tension between originality and imitation, between self and other. The repeated phrase "わかりにくいな" (it's hard to understand) suggests a struggle to grasp not just the other person's words, but perhaps their very being, leading to a desire to "なくしてしまおう" (just lose them) – their own words, their own self.
The core of the song seems to be this desperate attempt to absorb and become another person, driven by an admiration for their "綺麗だから" (because they're so beautiful/clear). The narrator confesses, "きみの言葉をあたしにしたいからさ" (because I want your words to be mine). This isn't just about adopting someone's style; it's a profound desire for their identity to become their own. Yet, this pursuit is fraught with anxiety, as the narrator admits, "ただ、間違わぬようにしていた" (I was just trying not to make a mistake) and later, "ただ、間違い探しをしていた" (I was just looking for mistakes). The act of tracing becomes an obsessive search for errors, both in the original and in the copy, highlighting the impossibility of perfect replication.
The most compelling aspect is the subtle shift in the narrator's perspective on mistakes. Initially, they fear making them, wanting to erase their own words. But by the end, after countless attempts to perfectly replicate, they lament, "きみの言葉になれなかった" (I couldn't become your words) and their own words have faded, leaving "もう見る影もないな" (no trace left). The final, poignant realization comes with "あたしは間違ってよかったのに" (it would have been fine if I had made a mistake). This suggests that the true error wasn't in imperfect copying, but in the very act of trying to erase their own flawed, unique voice in pursuit of someone else's perceived perfection.
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