B.F.F.

Album cover art for "B.F.F." by Hieu Minh Nguyen

Hieu Minh Nguyen - Non-Music, Poetry (Literature)

B.F.F.

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Lyrics

I lay in the dark & stretch the portrait of a white woman across my face until it splits. Beneath my bed, a catalogue Of half-faced women sing me to sleep. I'll start with Amanda Elias & how I thought, in order to be worthy of desire, I had to wear her skin. For four years I sat across from her In the lunchroom, mimicked her posture blinked when she did, became the mirror so concerned with the rise & fall of each one of her blemishes I even took her to the winter formal Watched, in the green glow of the gymnasium at how I— she danced, chiffon willow silk mystic. I watched how the boys held her whispered a joke in her ear that made me laugh. Stupid boys. StupidStupid boys. I tell the man in the chatroom I am a platter of soft curls. Send him her photo. Crack an egg & remove the yolk. He could marry me, you know? You don't. She would never. Once, after another heartbreak she came to school with cuts on her wrist & maybe my rage was out of concern— I was after all, a great friend, unflinching in my kindness or maybe I hated how ungrateful she was or maybe I thought her technique was pathetic Horizontal, barely breaking the first layer or maybe I wanted a bigger opening to attach a zipper, slip on her hand-me-downs & somehow she must've known all along her body was a dress I hung for motivation the way she cried while I held her wrist dabbing it with cold water, inspecting the damage how she kept on saying, Sorry. Sorry.

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Credits

Writers
  • Hieu Minh Nguyen