Changeling

Lyrics

Standing in front of a mirror, my mother tells me she is ugly says the medication is making her fat. I laugh & walk her back to the bed. My mother tells me she is ugly in the same voice she used to say no woman could love you & I watch her pull at her body & it is mine. My heavy breast. My disappointing shape. She asks for a bowl of plain broth & it becomes the cup of vinegar she would pour down my throat. Everyday after school, I would kneel before her. I would remove my clothes & ask her to mark the progress. It's important that I mention, I truly wanted to be beautiful for her. In my dreams I am thin & if not thin, something better. I tell my mother she is still beautiful & she laughs. The room fills with flies. They gather in the shape of a small boy. They lead her back to the mirror, but my reflection is still there.