Father

Lyrics

Well I turned 13 seven years ago That was the first time I felt I didn't have a home 'Cause razor blades and pairs of scissors strung out on my desk And when I told you you put them in the closet Next to a notebook where I would pour my love You took it away from me but I didn't give it up And now I wish that I could read those love letters I wrote Her handwriting was atrocious but it made me comfortable And I spent three years just holding on for dear life I spent the next three after that just trying to make this life mine I started smoking cigarettes and I started doing drugs I would do anything to fill the hole that once housed your love And then I went to college and things started getting worse I cut off contact and I started drinking more And I think it helped for a little while Christine would help me through the pain But then I'd wake up so hungover and full of hate And my dad thinks I don't like him and I can't say that's not true 'Cause after everything that's happened it's getting harder to forgive you And my sisters are moving far away, I think they're trying to keep their distance They've been warned what I might say by my parents And I spent three years just holding on for dear life I spent the next three after that just trying to make this life mine I started smoking cigarettes and I started doing drugs I would do anything to fill the hole that once housed your love And I know you know all about Victoria And I know you know everything I was keeping secret Underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems Dad that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen And now I'm disconnected with everyone I love I started playing it off like I was cooler and tough I started rolling with the wrong crowd doing drugs I started hating myself instead of picking you up And now I am pushing away everyone that I love I started telling myself that I was more than enough I started rolling with the wrong crowd killing cops I started hating myself instead of falling in love And now I'm disconnected with everyone I love I started playing it off like I was cooler and tough I started rolling with the wrong crowd doing drugs I started hating myself instead of picking you up And now I am pushing away everyone that I love I started telling myself that I was more than enough I started rolling with the wrong crowd killing cops I started hating myself instead of falling in love And I know you know all about Victoria And I know you know everything I was keeping secret Underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems Dad, that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen And I know you know all about Victoria And I know you know everything I was keeping secret Underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems Dad, that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen