Kid Twist vs Madness (2009)

Lyrics

[Round 1: Madness] Ayo, I mastered my craft in rap so I know you ain't even close Plus after that battle, him and Fresco reenacted the pottery scene from Ghost I'ma notify your mother and call all your teachers Cause we're still mad that you got Juno pregnant Paulie Bleeker You're also sweater than Now & Laters fucking with a Florida alligator Ayo Nerds are my favorite candy, but I ain't much into the "faggot" flavor I bet your broke into a tranny's medicine box and and stole an estrogen shot Inject it trying to develop feminine spots and out of necessity ate the rest of your cock Yo, cause half of us don't even believe you're a guy, so who's your mama? Cause either she's gonna tell us that you lied or that you're just Fried from Futurama Looking like some Jewish rocker that confused his music genres I'm just glad I get to do the honors or executing the Unabomber There's only one thing you gotta realize when you're facing me son I'm the American Michael Meyers, you're the Canadian one [Round 1: Kid Twist] You wanna talk about the guy I served yesterday? It's nothing major But if you're having fantasies about Fresco you might be lucky player I heard he's a chubby chaser Look, when you laugh your belly drops, cement cracks from the impact You're the only guy that has to buy chin straps in ten packs And I'd rather be a "nerdy emo" than the size of 30 people He's an identity crisis, stuck between a dirty chico and a Jersey Guido Cause when you first meet this chump, you'd swear he's Sicilian But if you see his cunt it's clear he's Brazilian You moved from F.L. to Cali and your status as a monster decreased You were the bomb in the east now you're comic relief But in The Bay he goes hyphy quick Cause no car's big enough for your full size to fit so you have to ghost ride the whip I give a fuck where you're so known I battle you in your old home and stomp you so far in the ground I'll leave a hole in the O-Zone Your music sucks and your logo is an embarrassing fetus You're the slowest sperm to come out of America's penis [Round 2: Madness] Beaker from The Muppets calling me a little fat is a little overbearing Plus you sound like you grew up in a fucking house where Andy Dick was both your parents Trying to keep opponents staring at the weird shapes you comb your hair in To distract the fact that you like dating rich men and going sailing I bet you'd rather molest a 12 year old boy who's clothes you're sharing Bitch you're weak and would get beat arm wrestling Dakota Fanning Before the WRC, it was just him and his boys battling privately Except when they had Gatherings it was more of the Magic variety I tell you, "listen mister", but you'd probably get it Twisted, Sister Screaming, "We're not gonna take it" into the flinching face of his mini Pincher Yo you fucking nerdoid, don't you dare try yelling and screaming on me Acting like Christian Bale on set, closest you come is having The Machinist's body Yo trick, stick to holding mics wrong at Scribble and living with mom dukes And bitching when she won't let you zip up your Tron suit [Round 2: Kid Twist] It's Tony Gomez He acts real funny and hopes we notice His rhymes are wack though, that's why the guys he battles are mostly homeless But he became a made man and he's not even Italian Shit the mafia boss probably thought, "He's fat, his name's Tony, he's gotta be a wop." He didn't know what guys in the mob wear though They told him, "Rock a fedora" he showed up in sombrero Plus he's always shaking maracas while they're making their pasta Talking like, "You should leave the gun. Take enchiladas." And if you diss Canada you'll get buried alive I fucked your little sister's American Pie and it was cherry inside You wanna know why he seems so sensitive? Cause he'll have three gold records shipped the day you elect a Latino president And all your little battle rap jokes are too dumbed down You are the Biggest Loser and didn't have to lose one pound So no one on Earth would ever give you Pun's crown What do I think of this fat ass Fonzie? Ayyyyye...two thumbs down [Round 3: Madness] Ayo he dying if I attack him so how could you try and fathom? Hardcore when in your top drawer you have a signed picture of Bryan Adams Now why the fuck would I buy an album from so Theodore, Simon, Alvin Childish sounding, whining, pouting, crying, shouting, giant falcon Shiiit, you can't relate to my legacy cause you'll never be as great as me Plus we just assume you're a liar cause I know you can never be straight with me While I was mastering raps basics you were trying on slap bracelets And I at the rate this faggot changes gear from man to bitch we should consider it drag racing I bet you majored in 'Gaming' and sprinkled AIDS on your Canadian Bacon Plus we all remember when you broke in Vince Vaughn's room in Wedding Crashers like, "I made you a painting." Bro it must be tough when your girlfriend's the man of the house She goes out and comes home drunk and you get slapped in the mouth Screaming, "Where's my dinner!" and you cook her favorite meal choice Plus you must be mad as fuck at all those auto tune rappers for stealing your real voice So if we're comparing mine, I'll take the stomach over being a fairy sipping on cherry wine Cause on the scale of life being fat outweighs being a faggot every time [Round 3: Kid Twist] Forget all those lines of coke that get snorted This is the most weight that Columbia has ever exported I knew you were a Colombian getting processed at Immigration Not from your form but process of elimination I mean he's not Cuban, no Communist rations cause his heaviness problem Plus that raft would've sunk within seconds of launching Dominicans run bases and you're out of breath when you're jogging And Mexican, with the fences they're hopping it's even less of an option Dude, I can't even believe your rep F.L Cause if you mix a "failure" with a "loss" you get "F.L." You talked all the shit when you left from your state too about how you felt they disgraced you But how dope can you be when Mosh Jelton replaced you? And no one's feeling your rap crew much I mean Critical's alright but the other three and a half dude's suck And he's so skinny cause I slid him my sandwich whenever I had to eat So the person who made Madness so massive, that was me {Madness wins the battle but they decide to go to overtime} [Round 4: Kid Twist] Listen, I'll admit I'm kinda star struck cause you'll be famous til death As that dude who battled Solomon, lost to him and pronounced his name with an "S" And when Illmac' faced you he slept The dangerous threat was Dizaster And Nocan' served you with a freestyle, but I forgot that doesn't matter And you didn't beat The Saurus he lost to his smoking habits Plus he proved in Oakland you couldn't roast him without the home advantage So it's irrelevant if the judges take this decision from me Your little quest to beat the best on the Earth already failed miserably And now that you've got locked it back to the chop shop Even when you suck your tummy in, it's like a bitch's ugly friend cause it always cock blocks Plus your mom's cunt looks like an open dump truck I can finger fuck that dumb slut while throwing a dub up See you're such a homie you catch AIDS through eight rubbers See Heavy D is rap's straight Overweight Lover And Tony's got the gay's covered [Round 4: Madness] You wanna talk about my losses, you funny wack bitch I should slap you with a fucking hollow hand (Hollohan) cause you don't know jack shit (Jack Shitt) Ayo, in Canada gay marriage is legal so to them I seem type deadly Bro, I'm just glad I was the first man y'all ever denied entry And for heaven sake why don't you go get those metal legs cause how could you beat me? Especially when you stand next to walls in your black jacket like, "How could he see me?" I'm an 80's Grindhouse horror baby so killing zombies is nothing new And somebody better tell Amy Winehouse watching skinny white bitches die is just something I'm accustomed to You Twilight vampire fucking Jew You had me a wee bit confused Cause I was wondering why you don't just keep singing tunes for the B-52s Love Shack baby! And I'm the combination of Slayer and Sinatra joining together While you sit at home crying to Weezer songs, destroying your Sweater You choke on dicks like David Carradine And this geek's so scared of me I'ma have to start up a charity just to pay for his "emo" therapy Shit bro, you can fit an entire Avacado, that kind, in your dick hole And when you showed up rocking that haircut I swear this was battle raps first Rick Roll Never Gonna Give You Up