The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria

Lyrics

[BILL, spoken] What do you think you're doing? Uh, stop.  [BENITO] Why should we stop? What's eating you, you crackpot? When we're about to cash in on the jackpot? [BILL] When all the world is vocal This is my point of view: I'd feel just like a yokel If I didn't sing along, too [SAILORS] What is there to do But hear the fellow through? [BILL] This trouble you're brewing You should be undoing You fellows don't get the idea The future you're failing If you don't keep sailing The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria You're just being dumb to Not know that you'll come to A land that's the world's panacea (Hmm!) No laurels you'll rest on If you don't keep west on The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria [SAILORS] The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria Let's not argue with him We like the waltz rhythm The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria [BILL] What traffic terrific From Maine to Pacific What hustle and bustle you'll see-ah What rivers, what valleys If nobody dallies On Nina and Pinta and Santa Maria The girls are breathtaking What claims you'll be staking So he's barking up the wrong tree-ah What pictures you'll pin up If you keep your chin up On Nina and Pinta and Santa Maria [SAILORS] If we keep our chin up What pictures we'll pin up On Nina and Pinta and Santa Maria [SAILORS applaud.] [BILL] There'll be forty-eight states and a hundred and thirty-five million residents And George Washington will be the first of many presidents There'll be cities like Chicago, New York, New Haven, and Hartford And Minneapolis Not to mention Hollywood, the global Cinematrapolis And, oh, my hearties What fun and what parties: The Democratic Party and the G.O.P.  The Prohibition Party and the Boston Tea What a wonderful land in which to be living Where you celebrate the Fourth of July, St. Patrick's Day, and Thanksgiving And if you want an extra day off What you're doing to Columbus is away off For the man you want to betray Can give you not only Columbus Circle and Columbus, Ohio But also Columbus Day So think twice, my friends, before you doubt Columbus Just imagine what happens to posterity without Columbus: No New York for Fiorello No Abbott for Costello No Automat nickels No Heinz and his pickles No land of the brave and the free-ah Just think what you're losing If west you're not cruising The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria No Radio City And who'll feed the kitty At Belmont Park and Hialeah? But you'll be unveiling The new world by sailing The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria [SAILORS] You've certainly sold us On all you have told us It's more than romantic Across the Atlantic The New World we're failing If we don't keep sailing The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria!