Christopher Columbus (The Mutiny)

Lyrics

[BENITO, spoken] Come on! [COLUMBUS, spoken] What's the meaning of this? [BENITO] This is a mutiny! [COLUMBUS] A what? [BENITO & SAILORS] A mutiny! [BENITO] A nautical rebellion A wash-out that is tidal Where you give way without delay Unless you're suicidal [COLUMBUS] But why, by all the saints? What are your complaints? [BENITO] We offer for your mental scrutiny The reasons for the mutiny Your believing that the world is round Is a belief that we believe unsound Our feet are on the ground And so far we have found The world is flat! Like that! [BENITO & SAILORS] Like that! Like that! Like that! [BENITO] You believe that we believe you know There is a land to land on where we go There's no land westward ho But you believe it, so We believe that you should be below Below [BENITO & SAILORS] Below, below [COOK] On me the men are venting all their passions They're tired of eating biscuit and K-rations [BENITO] Yes, Commodore, their stomachs are in an ugly mood On top of getting nowhere, they're fed up with their food [SAILORS] On top of getting nowhere we are fed up with the food [BENITO & SAILORS] Day and night we brood [BENITO] Fed up with the food Every night we are in tears When we think of macaroni And it seems like forty years Since we tasted minestrone Long to drink again the vino With the wife and bambino So we're going to force You to change the course And we sail the foam Back home! [BENITO & SAILORS] If I'm in tears (Every night we are in tears) It seems like years (When we think of macaroni) Since I have known the art (And it seems like forty years) Of eating a la carte (Since we've tasted minestrone) I miss my bambino (Oh, to drink again the vino) My vino, and sole mio (With the wife and bambino) And the sextet from Lucia [SAILORS] So we're going to force You to change the course And we sail the foam [BENITO & SAILORS] Back home! [SAILORS, spoken, applauding] Encore. Bravissimo! Encore. Bravissimo! [COLUMBUS, spoken] I'll bravissimo you! You fools! You sons of sea dogs! You bilge-watery barnacles! Have you no honor? Is nothing sacred to you? (sung) Have you no loyalty to royalty? [SAILORS] Loyalty to royalty? What do you mean? [COLUMBUS] I mean the Queen The lovely Isabella [SAILORS] Isabella! What about Queen Isabella? [COLUMBUS] Don't you know that sailing west meant A terrifically expensive investment? And who do you suppose supplied the means But Isabella, queen of queens? [SAILORS] The queen of queens supplied the means [COLUMBUS] Isabella volunteering Hocked her every bracelet and earring And if this journey adjourns We return with no returns Isabella, queen of queens Will be without any means Isabella will be flat Like that! [SAILORS] Like that! [COLUMBUS & SAILORS] Like that! [SAILORS] Who'd have thought that sailing west meant A terrifically expensive investment? [SAILORS & COLUMBUS] And who do you suppose Supplied the means (Who do you suppose supplied the means) But Isabella Queen of queens? (But Isabella, queen of queens?) [BENITO, spoken] Enough! Enough! Have you forgotten your vino? Your wife and bambino? Your sole mio? (sung) And the sextet from Lucia? [SAILORS] Right! [BENITO] Are we mice or men? Lock him up and then We can sail the foam Back home! [SAILORS] That is good advice Are we men or mice? Let us have no more Of the commodore And we sail the foam Back home [BENITO] Your believing that the world is round Is a belief that we believe unsound And so we're sailing east And you are full of yeast The world is flat [COLUMBUS] It's round! [BENITO] It's flat! [COLUMBUS] It's round! [BENITO] Flat! [COLUMBUS] Round! [BENITO] Flat! [COLUMBUS & BILL] Round! Stop!