Lyrics

Hark! This is the night Where Big Red Arthur tries to make it right And I, I was a child I couldn't read, but I could see And this is where Big Red Arthur Slides down the chimney and lands on spikes He lands on spikes (He lands on spikes!) He will never, ever see Christmas! And every single one of those business men Who dine on their foie gras tonight Drop drawers and count to ten With a finger in your mouth, you bite! Sometimes you watch the news And you've seen terrible things Sometimes you've got to choose Which crooks the hangman swings And I know Big Red Arthur is laughing As he bids adieu, to this hideous world Boxing Day, Mum and Dad Explain police tape, it's all so sad Lies, more of the same And the gifts that we were promised never came So I, I walked into town Threw rocks at windows and passed the time I passed the time (I passed the time) (Time, time) And I shall always never forget this When suddenly a chill upon my neck takes form As a bird made out of fire and snakes And he gives me a strangest peck he says 'Let's go out for tea and cakes' Sometimes you roll the dice, sometimes the dice roll you Christmas can be so nice, but it can be awful too And somewhere out there There's another Big Red Arthur Greasing up his body To go down the fume