Kung Fu Action Gripe

Lyrics
[Verse 1] Just try to discern what all the Christmas themed cups by your Bedside could possibly mean about your process of thought They hold far fewer ice cubes than the mugs Gathering dust in the cupboard by the Icey-Hot patches Or the batches of thermometers Or flocks of thermometers To the North of the birthday cake candles That I bought, back when I thought Birthday cakes meant growing up, and... [Chorus] I've been masturbating far more frequently I've been joining dating websites recently I could use a patient, sturdy boned, level headed man To care for a girl like me Put my lips on anything, baby Puking pineapple party drinks lately I've talked nearly almost everyone in my life Into wanting to poison me [Verse 2] It's just a matter of Fucking time until I develop nasolabial lines Indicating the first signs Of being too old to illegally posses porn or cigarettes A credit card, a mickey of rum or place bets and No amount of chocolate milk Or toads as pets No sledding and no sunny day lemon-aid booth Will restore my wasted youth And [Chorus] I've been masturbating far more frequently I've been joining dating websites recently I could use a patient, sturdy boned, level headed man To care for a girl like me Put my lips on anything, baby Puking pineapple party drinks lately I've talked nearly almost everyone in my life Into wanting to poison me [Outro] Clearing of our parish from ill fame and calumny But also a thing which will, I trow, appear too often in it, to wit That I am nothing more than a plain, unlettered man Not read in foreign languages, as a gentleman might be Nor gifted with long words, even in mine own tongue
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Credits
- Writers
- Devi McCallion