Lyrics

[RICHARD Spoken: Is there anyone here tonight who remembers the King of Rock 'n' Roll, Mr. Elvis Aaron Presley?] [TIM Spoken: Elvis! Whoa, whoa whoa! Hey, who said no? You shouldn't say no, everytime you do that an Elvis Presley dies, lady. You see, in 1974 in a small flea-bitten, hollowed-out cow corpse in Southern Memphis, Northern Blayney, Eastern Bathurst, a huge big fat gut-blubbering white man with a not so tender meaty-chunks name of Elvis "So Chumpy, You Can Carve It" Presley stood up, somehow, and paddled through the pool to his cryogenic tent. In which was placed a lemon-strawberry Valium-smack Priscilla thickshake. Elvis "Whup, whup, whup. Spanish Armada" Presley injected that thickshake into his left eyeball, glass and all. That night, Elvis died of a terrible cardiac arrest. And with him he took all our dreams, all our hopes, and all our drugs and food, Elvis Presley. He was big in the fifties, big in the sixties and fuckin' huge in the seventies. But I, for one, am very glad the fat, old prick is dead] (Wah!) [TIM Spoken: "Hey, Priscilla. Get more food!"] I was floating through the cemetery late last night When I saw a ghost who was out of sight He said "Down in the graveyard there's a party going on So get down (get down) six feet and sing a spiritual song Everyone's invited, we would be delighted If you'd grab your favourite corpse and came along.'" You don't move your arms and you don't move your legs You just a-do the, do the dead Elvis You don't grind your pelvis It's the dance of the dead C'mon and do the, do the dead Elvis You're old hound dog's sniffing at your tomb Tryna find a bone that ain't been consumed You can't jailhouse rock in your blue suede shoes When you do, do, do the dead Elvis [PAUL Spoken: I had a dream last night, people. And in that dream I saw Jimi Hendrix. Do you remember Jimi Hendrix? Drowned in his own vomit when he discovered he couldn't freestyle through it. And big Jimi gave me something in that dream, he gave me hope. He told me that Elvis Presley was alive and well and has been reincarnated as a giant sperm whale. Over two weeks ago "Whale Song" was picked up by National Geographic in the Mid-Atlantic, that whale song: Wooden Heart. And over a week ago a giant sperm whale beached itself in Memphis, Tennessee, over two thousand miles inland. And stuffed in its blowhole was two tonnes of very fine Peruvian cocaine, fifteen thousand teriyaki sauce McDonald's packets and a whole lot of fuckin' really fat chips. But apart from that, and the most amazing fact of all is: that whale was wearing the same white Hawaiian jumpsuit that Elvis Presley wore in his last concert appearance! And it was a perfect fuckin' fit] I'll bet you're lonesome tonight in that hole in the ground Old Shep's so shook up that he pissed on your crown No one's crying in the chapel, get wise, get hip There's some pretty heavy shit going down and you're it! Priscilla was delighted, all Dallas was invited To poke fun at your corpse and kick your dog You don't move your arms and you don't move your legs You just do the, do the dead Elvis (Ashes!) It was a terrible day when you had your cardiac arrest They tried to find your heart but couldn't cut through the flesh You can't Viva Las Vegas when there's no viva left C'mon and do, do, do the dead Elvis (You're dead!) [TIM Spoken: We're the Doug Anthony Allstars. Goodnight, Australia!] *Applause*