Crawlin’ Home Puker

Lyrics
1. I SLOWLY OPEN UP ONE EYE FEEL A POUNDING IN MY HEAD MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE I ATE MY SOCKS LORD I THINK I MUST BE DEAD THERE'S SOMETHING LYING NEXT TO ME ITS GOT A HAIRY UGLY FACE I SAW HER IN A MOVIE ONCE THE THING FROM OUTER SPACE 2. I SEE LITTLE CREEPY CRAWLERS IN THE CORNERS OF MY EYE WHEN I TRY TO LOOK AT THEM THEY FLAP THEIR LITTLE WINGS AND FLY I REACH OUT FOR THE NEAREST BEER IT TASTES AS WARM AS PEE IT'S FULL OF SOGGY OLD CIGGY BUTTS BUT I ONLY SWALLOWED THREE CHORUS: IT WAS A CRAWLING HOME PUKER THAT MADE ME THIS WAY A CRAWLING HOME PUKER NOW I'VE GOTTA PAY I AIN'T NO QUITTER I'LL PARTY TILL THE END BUT IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS ONE I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN 3. I FALL DOWN UPON MY KNEES PUT MY ARMS AROUND THE STOOL I WHISPER TO MY TOILET BOWL THANKS FOR BEING SO COOL MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE JELLO MY BRAINS HAVE TURNED TO MUSH MY TOILET'S OVER FLOWING I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO FLUSH 4. I GOT CRUSTIES ON MY EYEBALLS AND MY TEETH ARE GROWING HAIR AND I SMELL JUST LIKE A BEAGLE WHEN HE'S PASSING STINKY AIR I FEEL LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER AND I THINK I'VE GOT THE RUNS THEN SOMEONE CRACKS A BEER AND SAYS HEY, HAVE A BEER YOU OLD SON OF A GUN (REPEAT CHORUS)
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Credits
- Writers
- Jim DeCaire
- Joe Potila