Hey Dave, Don’t Date Yourself

Lyrics

First you click upon it Then it clicks on you Don't use your real identity In the interests of security Hey Dave don't date yourself Your ego needs another mirror Like a bear needs skates for school Hey Dave don't disappear To not exist would be so horribly uncouth What with that hair Notions of masculinity Carved to a rock and then buried under the earth Found by future generations and used as a template for comedy Hey Dave don't date yourself Your evil twin is actually a little doll You know that's true Hey Dave I'm watching you Not literally- I live a hundred miles away And need some sleep Some sleep Some sleep Here lies the body of the red wine That brought us together by that bonfire That brought us together when the night was cold And the alternative was a travel-lodge There receptionists can read minds y'know How do you think they make money? People don't need beds they just want places for their stuff Well, that's what my landlord told me And his bank account is his bond (no pun intended)