Lyrics

Bruce hated puppies He thought they ran like fannies Many sighs took the prisoner's hand Many sighs took the prisoner's heart Many sighs Bruce hated puppies He cursed the row of pet shops Give the labradors gluten-free pork chops Give the bulldogs Charvel headstocks They can play their own weddings They can play their own wake Now Bruce, he's a lot of fun He's a lot of fun when he's not not a lot of fun The puppy thing isn't really representative The puppy thing isn't really representative Bruce hated puppies He thought they barked to spite him Once or twice he was sure they had winked Once or twice he suspected a grin Once or twice Bruce hated puppies He cuts their heads from photos Give the terriers beehive hairdos Give the Shih Tzus tanning bed menus They can fix their own boilers They can comb their own coats Now Bruce, he's a lot of fun He's a lot of fun when he's not not a lot of fun The puppy thing isn't really representative The puppy thing isn't really representative A chill runs through their bedrooms Then normal service resumes Whatever you were informed Mothers make good chariots