I Can’t Do It Alone

Lyrics
[EMCEE, spoken] Ladies and gentleman, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation [VELMA] My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop My sister and I were headed straight for the top My sister and I earned a thou' a week at least... oh, yeah But my sister is now unfortunately deceased I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect... double... act! [VELMA, spoken] Watch this [VELMA] First I'd, tchbasmovi tchbasmovi and that's the drums Then she'd, woun-woun woun-woun, saxophone Then we'd... Together! But I can't do it alone Then she'd... Then I'd... Then we'd... But I can't do it alone She'd say "what's your sister like?" I'd say "men!" nyuk nyuk nyuk She'd say "you're the cat's meow" Then we'd wow the crowd again When she'd go... I'd go... We'd go... And then those ding dong daddies started to roar Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor Yelling, screaming, begging for more And we'd say "Ok fellas, keep your socks up You ain't seen nothing yet!" But I simply cannot do it alone [VELMA, spoken] Well, what'd ya think? Come on, look, you can say [ROXIE, spoken(?)] *Pfft* [VELMA, spoken] Ok, ok, uh Well the first part can always be rewritten, yeah sure But the second part was really nifty Ok, watch this [VELMA] Then she'd Then I'd [VELMA, spoken] See get it? RIght? I kick really high [VELMA] Then we'd But I can't do it alone She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?" I'd say, "ill!" Did you get that? She'd say, "Turn your motor off!" "Ring-ung-ung-ung" I can hear 'em cheerin' still When she'd go I'd go We'd go Sideways! And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown To cheer the best attraction in town They nearly tore the balcony down [VELMA, spoken] And we'd say "Ok, guys. Ok, fellas, we're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots" And this—this we did in perfect unison... [VELMA] Now you see me going through it You may think there's nothing to it But I simply cannot do it Alone
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Credits
- Writers
- Fred Ebb
- John Kander