All That Jazz

Lyrics

[VELMA] Come on, babe Why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz I'm gonna rouge my knees And roll my stockings down And all that jazz Start the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold But the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall Where there's a nightly brawl And all that jazz Slick your hair And wear your buckle shoes And all that jazz I hear that father dip Is gonna blow the blues And all that jazz Hold on, hon We're gonna bunny hug I bought some Aspirin Down at United Drug In case you shake apart And want a brand new start To do that- [VELMA & ENSEMBLE] Jazz [ENSEMBLE MEMBER #2] Skiddoo! [VELMA] And all that jazz [ENSEMBLE MEMBER #1] Hotcha! [ENSEBMLE MEMBER #3] Whoopee! [VELMA] And all that jazz [ENSEMBLE, hushed] Hah! Hah! Hah! [VELMA] It's just a noisy hall Where there's a nightly brawl And [VELMA & ENSEMBLE] All that jazz [FRED, spoken] Listen, uh, your husband ain't home, is he? [VELMA, spoken] No, her husband is not at home [ENSEMBLE] *laughs* [VELMA & ENSEMBLE] Find a flask We're playing fast and loose And all that jazz Right up here Is where I store the juice And all that jazz Come on, babe We're gonna brush the sky I betcha lucky Lindy Never flew so high 'Cause in the stratosphere How could he lend an ear To all that jazz Oh, you're gonna see Your sheba shimmy shake And all that jazz Oh, she's gonna shimmy Till her garters break And all that jazz Show her where to park her girdle Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle If she'd hear Her baby's queer For all that jazz All that jazz Come on babe why don't we paint the town (Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake) And all that jazz (And all that jazz) I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down (Oh she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break) And all that jazz (And all that jazz) Start the car I know a whoopee spot (Show her where to park her girdle) Where the gin is cold (Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle) And the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall (If she'd hear) Where there's a nightly brawl (Her baby's queer) And all that- (For all that-) [ROXIE, FRED, & ENSEMBLE WOMEN, spoken] So that's final, huh, Fred? Yeah, I'm afarid so, Roxie Oh, Fred... Oh, Fred... Yeah? Nobody walks out on me! *gunshot* But sweetheart- Don't "sweetheart" me, you son-of-a-bitch! *gunshots* Whoopee! Hotcha! Jazz! Oh, I gotta pee! [VELMA] No, I'm no one's wife But, oh, I love my life And all that jazz [ENSEMBLE] That jazz!