The Leaking Ark

Lyrics

What if all the animals were given Christian names? If we anthropomorphised them all to some degree What if every baby deer essentially became A Bambi? Every fattened and shackled sow a Peppa Pig? Every fish a Nemo or Dory Every rabbit a Peter or Buggs Every duck a Donald or Daffy In every pond lives a Kermit Frog We gather around our plates To mourn every morsel of microwave steak Every cheap piece of meat feels like a dearly deceased member of the family My bird, Susanne, just choked to death on a Tesco carrier bag As the oil spilled into the reef it was curtains for Tina and Keith Margery screamed in desperation as her baby was taken away after 3 days and Barry's burrow Was excavated To make way for a basement extension Which was to house a taxidermy collection We gather around our plates To mourn every morsel of microwave steak This monkey reminds me of my father and it's getting harder to apply the mascara A bolt through the head A leash around a neck And dance for me on your hind legs Pingu lost his igloo Dumbo lost his tusks And other such quips, oh you get the gist I've just run out of cute ways to say I think the human race is fucking disgusting, mate