“Has the War Started Yet?...”

Lyrics

[MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Colonel Holmes! [HOLMES, spoken] Yes? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Has the war started yet? [HOLMES, spoken] Not yet I'm waiting for a telegram from Washington [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Oh, how fascinating Tell me about Washington About the President [HOLMES, spoken] President Washington? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] No, the president we've got now [HOLMES, spoken] Oh [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] I, I suppose you see as much of him as anyone [HOLMES, spoken] Yes, yes, I've seen him in his shirtsleeves [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Oh Colonel, why don't you be president sometime? [HOLMES, spoken] There's an idea Do you think I'd be any good? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] What's that got to do with it? [HOLMES, spoken] Oh, it was just a thought How would you go about it? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Well, first I'd get rid of this silent business Get some publicity Stop a police strike Feed the Belgians Chop down a cherry take Take a full-page ad in Variety Suppose, Colonel, that I managed to make you head of this great nation? [HOLMES, spoken] Yes? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] What arrangement would you be willing to make? [HOLMES, spoken] With whom? [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] With me, of course [HOLMES, spoken] Anything within reason [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Well, I'm not an unreasonable woman