If I Became the President

Lyrics

[MRS. DRAPER] If I made you the ruler Of this great democracy [HOLMES] Then I'd make you First Lady Which is reciprocity [MRS. DRAPER] Imagine how delightful life Will be when we're on top [HOLMES] Just think! No matter where we'd go They'd make the traffic stop [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] We'd beat King Solomon in all his glory Oh, everything would be just hunky-dory [HOLMES] If I became the President [MRS. DRAPER] And I were the President's wife [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] We'd shake the hand of everyone we'd see [HOLMES] We could receive ambassadors [MRS. DRAPER] The kind the upper class adores [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] And have the whole Supreme Court down for tea [HOLMES] I'll talk on trade conditions [MRS. DRAPER] We'll open expositions [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] And proudly march behind the drum and fife [MRS. DRAPER] Oh, it thrills me just to tell of it [HOLMES] We both would be on vel-a-vit If I became the President [MRS. DRAPER] And I were the President's wife Dear, any time that we'd need money We'd call up the Mint [HOLMES] I'd tell them that I must try out The samples that they print [MRS. DRAPER] Would you cut down your drinking When you're with the ship of state? [HOLMES] I'd cut down on the water And I'd take my whiskey straight [MRS. DRAPER] You mustn't chase around when you're the Prexy [HOLMES] It's not my fault if women think I'm sexy If I became the President [MRS. DRAPER] And I were the President's wife You'd flood the Senate with your orat'ry [HOLMES] I'd make each politish-i-on Prohibit Prohibish-i-on [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] A hundred million drinkers would be free [HOLMES] I'd grow a beard, I'm thinkin' [MRS. DRAPER] You'd be as great as Lincoln And Mister Hearst would surely print your life [HOLMES] But I'd never go so far afield As Tyler, Polk, or Gar-a-field If I became the President [MRS. DRAPER] And I were the President's wife If Zanzibar grew tricky [HOLMES] Or Russia bolsheviky [MRS. DRAPER & HOLMES] There'd be no braver man in all the strife [HOLMES] But I won't become your pappy till You get me in the cap-i-till And I become the President [MRS. DRAPER] And I am the President's wife