The Cigar Song

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Well, I'm a sucker for fine Cuban cigars The problem is I can't afford them But last year, I went and got myself a whole box And just to be safe, I insured 'em [Verse 2] I took out a policy against fire and theft And then I hurried on home And with a fifty-cent lighter, I sat on my back steps And I smoked 'em one by one [Verse 3] Two weeks later, I went to see that insurance man And I handed in my claim With a straight face, I told him that through a series of small fires They'd all gone up in flames [Verse 4] They reviewed my case and they had no choice But to pay me for what I'd done I took that check and bought a whole new box And I smoked 'em one by one [Verse 5] Two weeks later, this detective shows up And tells me that company's pressing charges One speedy trial later, they locked me up On twenty-four separate counts of arson [Verse 6] And now I sit and I stare at a blank brick wall Looking back on what I've done To pass the time, I've got some ten-cent cigars And I smoke 'em one by one Yeah, I smoke 'em one by one