The First Black President

Lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the first nig- I, I mean, the first black president of the United States of America! President Blowfly! (Yaay!) Thank you, thank you very much. Like I promised y'all when I was running, I'm gonna make sure there are chillis in every pot, ham hocks on every table, birth control pills in every purse, and we're gonna have an orgy every motherfuckin' weekend. (Yaaay!) Thank you. Good morning Mr. President, sir. Good morning, bitch- I mean, Miss Clit. This shit's gonna bе easy. President don't do nothin' but sit on his ass all day, and givе orders any motherfuckin' way. Guess I get my head together here... where's my fucking cocaine? Bet that bitch done moved it again. Miss Clit? Mister President, sir? Would you get your ass in here, please? Right away, sir. What did you do with my shit? Are you constipated, sir? Bitch, you know what I'm talking about, my motherfucking redall! Oh, I took your dog to the vet, sir Hoe, I'm talking about coke, cocaine! You know that white powder shit, that I'm putting on your pussy when I'm getting ready to eat it? Oh that, sir! It's right in front of you, sir. Thank you, that'll be all. Stupid bitch, if her pussy wasn't so good I'd fire her. Guess I'll get over here and get my head together. [snorting] Ah... damn, some good shit. Mister President, sir? Ah, shit... what the fuck you want now? Mister Jackson is here to see you. "Mister Jackson"? Reggie Jackson, Andrew Jackson, or Michael Jackson? What, which one? Mr. Superfly Jackson of the United Pimps Association. Ah shit... what the fuck he wants? He wants the money you promised him for endorsing you. I told that dumb motherfucker those assholes at Congress got all the funds frozen! What the fuck he wants from my life? Well, he stated that payment in coke would be sufficient, sir. God, my last coke... a-ight, take it, give it to the motherfucker and get rid of him. That's the end of that shit. I thought that shit was gonna be easy. I got it! I got some weed here somewhere... here it is. Roll me a couple of joints, mmh! Ah... Mister President, sir? Ah shit... whatchu want now, Miss Clit? Mr. Paul is here to see you, sir. "Mr. Paul"? Paul Newman, Paul Revere or Paul Anchor? Pope John Paul, sir. John Paul? What he wants? The weed you are currently smoking, sir. Oh, shit... I can see right now, I am not gonna like this motherfucking shit at all, huh? Give it to the motherfucker! Can't sniff no coke, can't smoke no dope... Damn, I know what I'd do! Fuck this bitch again. Miss Clit, would you come in here, please? Right away, sir. Come on over here, baby, and put off your clothes with your fine self. Um, um, don't... Ah, I don't wanna hear that shit this morning. Stop... wait, wait, I've got something to tell you, sir...! Can't smoke no dope, can't sniff no coke. No, no, later, later, I can hear all of that shit later. Ooh, shit, it's... the fuck? What, what is the red spots on your stomach? That's what I was trying to tell you, sir. What are they? You see, I went to the doctor, and he says I have herpes! The herpes?! I RESIGN! Fucking herpes!