Be More Chill - Part 1

Lyrics

[THE SQUIP] Take your hands out of your pockets Arch your back, puff out your chest Add some swagger to your gait or You'll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor Fix your posture, then the rest [JEREMY, spoken] But I am a masturbator-- [THE SQUIP, spoken] We'll fix that (sung) All your nerdiness is ugly [JEREMY, spoken] Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but-- [THE SQUIP] All your stammering's a chore [JEREMY, spoken] Uh, sh- er, what? [THE SQUIP] Your tics and fidgets are persistent And your charm is non-existent Fix your vibe, then fix some more [JEREMY] Bu-- [THE SQUIP] Buh [JEREMY] I-- [THE SQUIP] Buh [JEREMY] Sh-- [THE SQUIP] No [JEREMY] Wait-- [THE SQUIP] Stop Oh, everything about you is so terrible Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die [JEREMY, spoken] Jesus Christ... [THE SQUIP] So don't freak out And don't resist And have no doubt If I assist You will Be more chill First thing's first, go buy a new shirt [JEREMY, spoken] What?! What's wrong with my shirt-- [THE SQUIP] Shh, it's better if you just comply My job's to color your aesthetic And make you seem much less pathetic Just step and fetch, don't ask me why [JEREMY, spoken] How are you with math homework? [THE SQUIP, spoken] I'm a super-computer, Jeremy. I'm made of math (sung) Oh, everything about you is so terrible [PEOPLE IN THE MALL] Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks! [THE SQUIP] Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die [PEOPLE IN THE MALL] Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks! [THE SQUIP & PEOPLE IN THE MALL] All the people in the mall Think you are such a slob [PEOPLE IN THE MALL] You're a slob! Terrible! Such a slob! [THE SQUIP & PEOPLE IN THE MALL] Oh, boy [THE SQUIP] Can I see why! (spoken) Now you, try picking a shirt That's a girl's shirt [CHLOE, spoken] ...Jerry? [JEREMY, spoken] Erm, Jeremy [CHLOE, spoken] You shop here? [JEREMY, spoken] Oh, yeah all the time-- [THE SQUIP, spoken] Never [JEREMY, spoken] Never. Is what I meant to... [THE SQUIP, spoken] Greet the beta [JEREMY, spoken] Oh. Hey, Brooke [THE SQUIP, spoken] "You look sexy." [JEREMY, spoken] I can't say that to a hot girl! [THE SQUIP, spoken] Don't smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don't care about your own death [JEREMY, spoken] Lookin' pretty sexy, Brooke [BROOKE, spoken] Thanks [CHLOE, spoken] Is that a girl's shirt? [JEREMY, spoken] No [THE SQUIP, spoken] "Yes." [JEREMY, spoken] Yes [THE SQUIP, spoken] Repeat after me: (sung) I saw it in the window [JEREMY] I saw it in the window [THE SQUIP] And I couldn't dismiss [JEREMY] And I couldn't dismiss [THE SQUIP] I was dating a girl and [JEREMY] I was dating a girl and [THE SQUIP] She had a shirt just like this [JEREMY] She had a shirt just like this [THE SQUIP] It's still painful [JEREMY] It's still painful [CHLOE, spoken] So, who was this mystery girl? [JEREMY, spoken] Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so-- [THE SQUIP] Madeline [JEREMY] Madeline [CHLOE, spoken] What? [JEREMY] She's French [CHLOE, spoken] Ugh! She is NOT French! She just pretends to be for attention! [BROOKE, spoken] Madeline broke up with you? [JEREMY, spoken] Yeah... [THE SQUIP, spoken] No [JEREMY, spoken] I mean-- [THE SQUIP] I broke up with her [JEREMY] I broke up with her [THE SQUIP] 'Cause she was Cheating on me [JEREMY (overselling it)] 'Cause she was Cheating on me [THE SQUIP, spoken] Hey, Hamlet. Be more chill