Lyrics

[Verse 1: Art Barnes] High school gym You could never win Run ten miles as fast as you can Only to discover you're last again -- rats! In the locker room Dreadful minutes that reek of doom Jockstraps on the ceiling Morons stink of sweat My body has no feeling How worse can it get? [Verse 2: SuLu] High school gym You could never win Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks?! Coach wants us to break our backs -- ugh! In the locker room Everyone's looking at my bazooms Naked in the shower Packed in like sardines I'm going to miss lunch hour 'Cause someone stole my jeans -- now what do I do!? [Bridge: Artie Barnes] Hup, two, three four! Hup, two, three four! Hup, two, three four! Faster! Faster! [Verse 3: Art, SuLu, both] High school gym You could never win Every time you turn around A bully comes and knocks you down In the locker room Always one coach who calls you "goon" He smells a lot like stale beer And looks just like King Kong Gee, those were some swell years How sad now that they're gone [Outro: Barnes & Barnes, SuLu, all] God bless high school gym (God bless high school gym) God bless high school gym And doctors' notes! Yeah!