Miss Marmelstein

Lyrics

[ENSEMBLE, variously] Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein [MISS MARMELSTEIN & ENSEMBLE, variously] Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Other girls get called by their first names right away They get cozy, intimate Do you know what I mean? Nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Honey dear" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Sweetie pie" (Miss Marmelstein) Even my first name would be preferable Though it's terrible It might be better, it's Yetta Or perhaps my second name, that's Tessye Spelled T-E-S-S-Y-E But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein (Miss Marmelstein) You'd think at least Miss M they could try Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Oh, I could die [MISS MARMELSTEIN] I'm a very willing secretary Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate Except for one disappointment One fly in the ointment It's great, I mean, simply great But the aggravation of my situation I might as well get it off my chest It's the drab appellation— [MISS MARMELSTEIN, spoken] Oh, pardon the big words I apply But I was an English major at CCNY— [MISS MARMELSTEIN] Drab appellation With which I am persistently addressed Persistently, perpetually, continually, inevitably addressed [MISS MARMELSTEIN, spoken] Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic [MISS MARMELSTEIN & ENSEMBLE, variously] Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein) Other girls get called by their nicknames right away Slightly naughty or risqué Do you know what I mean? Nobody calls me "Koo-chee-koo" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Bubbeleh" (Miss Marmelstein) Or "Passion pie" (Miss Marmelstein) Even "Hey there, babe," though not respectable Ain't so objectable It's kind of crummy But chummy Of course, if I got married, that would do it So, where's the lucky guy? Huh? 'Til then, it still is Miss Marmelstein (Miss Marmelstein) Every day I get more and more fussed Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Miss Marmelstein Oh, I could bust!