I’m the Greatest Star (Live)

Lyrics

[ANNOUNCER, spoken] Ladies and gentlemen In this evening's performance The role of Fanny Brice will be played by Barbra Streisand [FANNY, spoken] Mr. Ryan Oh, listen Look, um— Suppose all you ever had for breakfast was onion roll Now all of a sudden one morning, in walks a bagel So, I mean, you take a look at it You say, "What is that?" Until you tried it That's my trouble I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls! Nobody recognizes me! Listen— [FANNY] I got thirty-six expressions Sweet as pie to tough as leather And that's six expressions more Than all them Barrymores put togеther Instead of just kicking me Why don't thеy give me a lift? It must be a plot 'Cause they're scared that I got Such a gift Well, I'm miffed 'Cause I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it Wait, they're gonna hear a voice A silver flute—woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo They'll cheer each toot "Hey, that kid is terrific!" When I expose it Now, can't you see to look at me That I'm a natural Camille? As Camille I just feel I've so much to offer Hey listen, kid, I know I'd be divine because I'm a natural cougher [FANNY makes coughing sounds.] Some ain't got it, not a lump I'm a great big clump of talent Laugh! They'll bend in half [FANNY, spoken] Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman? [FANNY] A thousand jokes Stick around for the jokes A thousand faces I reiterate When you're gifted Then you're gifted These are facts I got no axe to grind Hey, what are they, blind? In all of the world so far I'm the greatest star Who is the pip with pizazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamorous as? Who's an American Beauty rose With an American Beauty nose And ten American Beauty toes? Eyes on the target and wham One shot, one gun shot and bam Hey, Mr. Ziegfeld, here I am! I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it That's why I was born I'll blow my horn 'Til someone blows it I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker then flare up All the world's gonna stare up Looking down, you'll never see me Try the sky, 'cause that'll be me I can make 'em cry I can make 'em sigh Someday they'll clamor For my drama Have you guessed yet Who's the best yet? If you ain't, I'll tell you one more time You bet your last dime In all of the world so far I'm the greatest, greatest star