Zombie Jesus (Monologue)

Lyrics
[Interlude] Speaking of religion, uh Last year around April I had taken my son to the dojo Where he studies karate He was changing into his street clothes And I was giving him a hand And he turns to me And he says 'Cause obviously he'd overheard some of the other children talking And he said: "Papa" And I said: "Yeah?" And he said: "What's easter?" And it was like, everybody in there suddenly got whiplash 'Cause they were all like *swoosh" *Audience laughing* They all lookеd at me like I was some kinda crazy dеvil worshipper For never having told my son about easter So I pulled him over and I said "Well I told you about Jesus Christ and how he was executed for his beliefs" And he said: "Yeah?" And I said: "Well, easter is the day that Christians celebrate three days later when he rose from the grave" And my son looks at me *Audience laughing* And his eyes widen *Audience laughing* And he says: "Jesus is a zombie?" *Audience applauding* He's got like the full on devil horn action going He's like "Right on!" And I was like "No, no, no, no, no, no, Jesus is not a zombie" And that would be totally uncool for you to say Because you could offend a lot of people As we all know You never, ever, ever put down people's religious beliefs Unless you're on stage, and then go for it *Audience applauding* In any case Here's a little lullaby I wrote for my very, um, insightful, young son
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Credits
- Writers
- Aurelio Voltaire