Lyrics

[Verse] Well, I turned on my TV set To see if it was as cheesy as I forget Maybe [?] country videos my soul to save Well, them new-wave Nashvilles on the juke Turn my gut, fixin' to puke I bet Hank Williams is spinning in his grave [Chorus] This Western glamour's full of Philistines Churnin' out false profits, slave to the machine But I'm headin' for the lowlands You won't miss me when I'm gone 'cause I'm startin' to hate country But I still love cowboy songs (C'mon Pops!) [Mandolin Solo] [Verse] Weeell, Marty Robbins or The Master's Call Spade Cooley, Behind the Wall I could listen to swing and boogie all dang week But cowboy songs take the backsеat When they play that Achy Breaky geek Makеs me proud as hell that I'm a freak [Chorus] This Western glamour's full of Philistines Churnin' out false prophets, slave to the machine But I'm headin' for the lowlands You won't miss me when I'm gone 'cause I'm startin' to hate country But I still love cowboy songs (Kevin!) [Bass Solo] [Interlude] Aaand now, ladies and gentlemen For your listening entertainment The one, the only, the Mysterious John (OooOOoooh!) Is gonna let you know a partial list Of the exact country and western artists We enjoy listening to at 78 RPM! Take it away, mysterious JooOOooOOoohn! Gene Autry (Gene Autry!) Ernest Tubb (Ernest Tubb!) Homer and Jethro (Homer and Jethro!) Bob Wills (Bob Wills!) Milton Brown (Milton Brown!) Jimmy Bryant (Jimmy Bryant!) Curtis Gordon (Curtis Gordon!) Hank Penny (Hank Penny!) Pee Wee King (Pee Wee King!) Speedy West (Speedy West!) Lefty Frizzell (Lefty Frizzell!) Jimmie Rodgers (Jimmie Rodgers!) Skillet Lickers (Skillet Lickers!) Roy Acuff (Roy Acuff!) Bobby Sisco (Bobby Sisco!) Bill Boyd (Bill Boyd!) Bill Monroe (Bill Monroe!) Merle Travis (Merle Travis!) Shelton Brothers (Shelton Brothers!) Johnny Cash (Johnny Cash!) Hank Harold (Hank Harold!) Cliff Bruner (Cliff Bruner!) Floyd Tillman (Floyd Tillman!) Stanley Brothers (Stanley Brothers!) Al Dexter (Al Dexter!) Flatt and Scruggs (Flatt and Scruggs!) George Jones (George Jones!) Webb Pierce (Webb Pierce!) Patsy Cline (Patsy Cline!) Tammy Wynette (Tammy Wynette!) Loretta Lynn (Loretta Lynn!) Kitty Wells (Kitty Wells!) Minnie Pearl (Minnie Pearl!) Faron Young (Faron Young!) Buck Owens (Buck Owens!) Light Crust Doughboys (Light Crust Doughboys!) Tennessee Ernie Ford (Tennessee Ernie Ford!) Sons of the Pioneers (Sons of the Pioneers!) [Chorus] Well, this Western glamour's full of Philistines Churnin' out false prophets, slave to the machine But I'm headin' for the lowlands You won't miss me when I'm gone 'cause I'm startin' to hate country But I still love cowboy songs (Kevin!) [Post-Chorus] I said I'm startin' to hate country But I still love cowboy songs (Yeehaw!)