Song Meaning
Zola Jesus's "Days Grow Older" isn't a track for casual consumption; it's a sonic immersion into the push and pull of codependency, the fraught territory where self-preservation clashes with the magnetic draw of another. The fragmented lyrics mirror the fractured state of mind of someone caught in this cycle. The opening lines, "Here comes to me to me and I don't even go / But I hear it come!" suggest an unwanted, perhaps even destructive, influence or person repeatedly entering the speaker's life, despite resistance. There's a sense of inevitability, a premonition of emotional entanglement. The repeated phrase "days grow older" functions as a somber mantra, a constant reminder of time passing, potentially wasted or consumed by this complex relationship.
The core tension lies in the speaker's ambivalence. Lines like "Cause I don't want to be one who comes to wrong your life / And I don't want have no place to go" expose a fear of causing harm and a simultaneous need for connection, even if that connection is ultimately detrimental. The acknowledgment that "I know you gonna be my soul" hints at an intense, almost spiritual bond, making detachment even more difficult. There's a push-and-pull dynamic at play. The lyrics reveal the speaker's awareness of their own potential for toxicity ("And I don't wanna go and take you on with me!") and a desire to shield the other person from that.
The latter half of the song descends further into the speaker's internal conflict. The imagery of rising "from the ashes of the world" suggests a transformative, potentially destructive event, and the line "I know, I know that they will run me" implies an awareness of consequences or judgment. The repeated, almost desperate, declaration "I gotta continue on my day" indicates a struggle to maintain a sense of normalcy or self-direction amidst the emotional chaos. The final lines, including "And you lift me up and you bring me down... And I know you wanna.. And i'mma waste your time" encapsulates the cyclical, addictive nature of the relationship, a volatile mix of support and sabotage, ultimately acknowledging the potential for wasted time and emotional drain. The song doesn't offer easy answers or resolutions, instead, it presents a raw, unsettling portrait of human connection at its most complicated.