Lyrics

[Intro] Yeah I've been tryna find a way to say what I gotta say [Verse 1] "Boy I hate you" Never thought I'd hear those words from you Never know I'd feel that verb so true And imagine how I feel if it hurts to you, but damn There I go again, always thinkin' bout myself and we older than All them old ways we used to be on Lookin' down on others Espeons [Verse 2] We on some grown shit now, I was lookin' at you growin' Now lookin' like you be up on yo grown shit now Lookin' like you be up on yo own shit, wow But truly we don't wanna be alone, switch styles 'Cause I liked it, nah, I loved it So I figured I would go and put a ring on it I don't know if that was fair after we wouldn't make it 'Cause I'm breaking еvery heart when I sing from it, yеah Felt like I was losing myself while I'm out here finding you Felt like we'd give us a chance plus I saw you trying to I teach you how to build yourself, then I'm jealous of your strength 'Cause how you learn to heal yourself and I can't even try on my end I look around and start to even to buy my friends Even thought that I could buy my way up out of sin I felt like money was all I need But that switched up when I planted that seed I was so content with the thought of us But how could that be with the lost of trust Always here but didn't trust yo help Come to think about it, I didn't trust myself Makin' these promises I can't even promise My mouth tellin' lies but my heart was so honest Saw you makin' my mistakes And I was just hopin' we both could learn from it Yeah we wasn't close friends when we started off But we both fell and we fell so fast Only problem was that I fell first And they say that what comes quick just don't last And the whole time I'm tryna chase these dreams Dreams turn to dreams of you 'Cause my old dreams weren't just dreams for one Now I'm under pressure dreaming for it too And I felt like you were worth the time Felt them truths still behind them words And I wanted you to have that life The one I didn't think I deserved [Verse 3] And if I didn't make them calls I'd slowly feel you drift away But even when I heard your voice still felt like I ain't have shit to say And I didn't want this to be just another mystery Of why your marriage didn't work and end up in yo history 'Cause I was puttin' you up on a pedestal along with everyone else Felt like if I made you feel better, I could make me better myself 'Cause I didn't love me, I was ugly, why'd you hug me? Used to think that girls only really want the thug me And I'm makin' music 'cause I'm hopin' that they bump me If I didn't make it then I felt like they would bump me Yeah, girl, you was my first, surprised that you really couldn't tell I guess that wasn't the only thing I was so good at hidin' so well That's why every little word you said would hit me so hard in the soul 'Cause the whole time I thought I'm building you, I was building myself to control And I spent so much time findin' you I didn't even want you findin' me 'Cause you would find that I didn't find myself And everything you said, damn, I agree How could I be such a hypocrite? Already soundin' like some father's words Don't follow my actions, girl Only focus on, 'He's less than her' But now while I got you findin' you There ain't nobody findin' me And now I'm gettin' lost in the world ignis But I'm tellin' you it don't bother me Smokin' all my life away And makin' you think that I'm okay And put these thoughts inside this box in my mind and call it a hideaway [Verse 4] And at the ending of the day Still wonder why I feel so high I felt like I could hide from you But can't hide from myself, forgot I wanted so bad to be the man of ya dreams I just wanted someone to love me back But now I see I'm not that man I see I'm actually better when I'm proud to be black I'm learning how to manage my thoughts inside I'm learning all I say ain't usually facts I'm learning only I can make me happy And I'm hopin' you can grow to manage that But now I see I make mistakes But those are all from yesterday And there ain't nothin' I can say That could take that pain away So now we have to hit reset which I know I'm so used to doin' 'Cause that's how we grew up in my house Fall off, get back to your pursuin' So no, I didn't have the right mind And yeah I didn't need to learn patience But I still knew deep down inside that it was too early for this vacation 'Cause you don't know that man that you were gon' be sleepin' with 'Cause how can I give you my whole heart when I only know just a piece of it And I'm gettin' off this rollercoaster And I'ma go ahead and get this here help And I still hope you're findin' you 'Cause now I gotta go find myself [Outro] Yeah Ain't no time for no vacations if we workin' Ain't no time to take no breaks if we workin' I'm just sayin', I'm just workin' if you workin'