how should i feel ?

Song Meaning

These lyrics plunge us into a whirlwind of emotional uncertainty, centered on the insistent question, "How should I feel?" The speaker seems caught between a private longing, expressed through "Dear diary," and a more public, perhaps performative, awareness hinted at by the repeated "Gossip Girl" interjections. It's a raw, unvarnished cry for emotional direction. The core tension here lies in the speaker's internal world clashing with a harsh external reality. The desire to "know her" is palpable, a yearning for connection that feels urgent. Yet, this longing is immediately complicated by the stark admission of loss: "J't'ai perdue irl." The lyrics suggest a struggle to reconcile vivid dreams, where "tout est faux," with a waking life where something precious has slipped away. What truly elevates these lyrics is the sudden, poignant shift to French. Phrases like "Tout tient à un fil" — everything hangs by a thread — underscore a profound sense of fragility and precariousness. This vulnerability is immediately followed by the blunt, almost cynical truth: "Nobody belongs to nobody : tha' shit real." This declaration cuts through the emotional fog, grounding the speaker's confusion in a stark, unromanticized view of relationships and ownership. Ultimately, the power of these lyrics comes from their unflinching honesty. The relentless repetition of the central question, combined with the intimate confessions and the stark realities articulated in French, paints a vivid picture of someone grappling with profound emotional disorientation. It's a powerful exploration of how we navigate intense feelings when the lines between what's real and what's imagined become painfully blurred.