Lyrics

[sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] Once, I 'ad an 'usband You know the sorta chap I met 'im at a dance And how he came on with the chat [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] Are ya dancin'? I think you're a bleedin' cracker! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] He said me eyes were deep blue pools Me skin as soft as snow [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] Lovely! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] He told me I was sexier than Marilyn Monroe And we went dancin' We went dancin' Then, of course, I found that I was six weeks overdue [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] ??? [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] We got married at the registry And then we had a do We all 'ad curly salmon sandwiches And 'ow the ale did flow [spoken] [ALL] Cheers! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] The bride they said was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe [ALL] And we went dancin' We went dancin' [MRS JOHNSTONE] Then the baby came along We called him [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] Darren Wayne [COMPANY] Aww! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] Then three months on I found that I was in the club again [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] I've married a bleedin' rabbit! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] And though I still fancied dancin' Me husband wouldn't go [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] Get lost, will ya? [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] With a wife he said Was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe No more dancin' No more dancin' By the time that I was twenty-five I looked like forty-two With seven hungry mouths to feed And one more nearly due Me husband, he walked out on me A month or two ago [spoken] [MR JOHNSTONE] Ta-ra! [sung] [MRS JOHNSTONE] For a girl they say looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe And they go dancin' They go dancin' Yes. they go dancin' They go dancin'